If you were to share some advice to strengthen “you” of 10+ years ago, what would you say?
It might sound like a silly question, but the process of identifying those things will help you in at least two ways:
(1) You’ll have a concrete list of specific things that you can share with other people who are coming along behind you.
(2) You’ll be able to see how much you’ve grown.
Today I’m sharing a list of 10 things that would have made a difference to the younger version of me, and I hope that the ideas will either help you with your specific challenges right now–or they’ll inspire you to write your own list and let your experience be a lift for others.
Click “play” up above for the full podcast!
The idea for this episode started when my daughter emailed this picture from more than a decade ago:
Here’s what I wrote when I shared it to our social media channels:
One of our community members shared this, which deeply impacted me:
Then the other night, while Eric and I were reading in the living room, I started thinking about that version of me, and I asked myself, “What DID she need? What would I say to her if I had the chance?”
Several ideas came to mind, so I pulled out my phone and wrote them down. (There were 10–and I thought it might be helpful to share them with you…)
1. Recharging isn’t something you need to feel guilty about.
When you are tired, there is a reason, and rest is a gift. Replenish yourself with love and care, and know it is an investment that will ultimately benefit those in your circle of influence.
2. Your effort and love makes a difference.
You know all those messes you’re cleaning up? The conversations you’re having? The activities you’re planning? The moments you’re celebrating? The challenges you’re working through? All those places you’re driving? The songs and hugs and stories at bedtime? In hindsight, your family will know how much you cared about them, and you won’t regret the time spent doing even the mundane things together.
3. Big dreams feel scary, but KEEP DREAMING.
Keep drawing those little pictures on your vision board, keep imagining scenarios that make you giddy, keep thinking about those goals that probably sound crazy to everyone else. They will lift you and it will amaze you as things beyond your expectations start to actually happen—but be open to those dreams coming true in different ways.
4. When you wonder if the heavens are silent because nobody cares, please, please remember that there is a Higher Power who DEFINITELY, consistently, deeply cares.
Keep moving forward with the knowledge you have, increase your faith, wisely push past your comfort zone, and do all you can to bring goodness to others. As you look back, you will know with certainty that you were never alone.
5. Focus on the essentials.
There is a tendency to think that you are never doing enough. When you feel that way, step back and see if perhaps you are doing too many non-essentials. You are one person. One human person, and it is the steady doing of the ESSENTIAL things that will bring the success you desire.
6. Your value isn’t in how much you check off your list.
Even when you are sick, hurt, afraid, frustrated, mistreated, or stuck in confusion, you are still of infinite worth. You’ll get back to the “doing” of things when you can, but the doing is simply an expression of who you are, it isn’t “who you are.”
7. When you see how amazing “everyone else” is, you are only seeing a small part of the story.
Yes, other people have praiseworthy success, great vacations, happy relationships, and incredible talents, and you can genuinely cheer them on and celebrate their wins—but know that there are parts of your life and parts of who you are that others would feel privileged to have, and if you knew the whole story behind everyone else’s life, you wouldn’t feel so small. We are all here to lift one another and contribute in our unique ways. Focus on what YOUR unique contribution is, and grow that with the love, life, and energy you have to offer.
8. Keep learning. Most problems have already been solved out there.
The wise selection of books, podcasts, videos, courses, and messages from the best teachers will lift you out of discouragement and give you energy and vision. Fun TV/novels/scrolling social media can be nice for a break, but FEAST on the best education you can find, and your growth will bring you peace, relief, and enthusiasm for what is ahead.
9. Don’t underestimate the value of opposition.
The low points can refine you. The hurdles you overcome can empower you. The disappointments can teach you. And then you will be able to turn back and help others with the perspective you have gained.
10. Your life is making more of a difference than you can currently see.
At the end of the day, it’s the people in your life who love you for who you are and the relationships you build with one another that will matter most. Pay attention to those connections and don’t let the difficult relationships cause you to close your heart. Your love and light is needed, and as you step into the version of yourself that you know you are meant to become, you will feel a power beyond your own, and you will feel privileged by the opportunity to be a part of it.
LearnDoBecome Invitation:
I hope that these ideas were helpful for you, and if you’d like to take a turn, we invite you to think about who you were, where you struggled, and what you were dreaming about 10 or so years ago. (You pick the age!) Then record what you would say to yourself now that you have the perspective of time and additional experience. Let us know in the comments how it goes or how you felt going through this–or anything else you want to share!
Here Are the Related Links!
STEP Program – Build your Command Central 🙂
Free LearnDoBecome Holiday Workshop!
How to Make Time to Read (Part 1)
How to Make Time to Read (Part 2)
Using Evernote to Record All You Learn
Books (These are Amazon affiliate links):
Free Facebook Group for the LearnDoBecome Community
36 vs 46
I was and currently still find myself as a big daydreamer. But I never listen to myself. Because I felt invisible to others. I didn’t want to grow up due to things that happened to me as a child. I believe God turned it into background noise so I could function until I was ready to grow. I also believe that my illnesses are rooted in the back ground noise. Fast forward to June 2021. Each month that goes by has 1st in them. Like my first kiss. I know it’s sounds crazy but for all my life I thought feeling something from a kiss was an old wives tale. But when I share with my husband about my childhood and he listened and I felt heard , it unlocked my heart. And When he gave me support and love I actually could feel his sincerity. And I actually felt something when he kissed me. Things I currently tell myself.
1. Wake up
2. Hello
3. Doing nice things things for us isn’t wrong
4. Saying No is a must
5. Be a Good grown up
6. Being a responsible person is always an honest person
7. Our personal known fact: All our stress turns into illnesses “so get 8+ hours of sleep and stay hydrated”
8. Face our background noise
9. Questioned our feelings
10. We need to own our life
Bonus 11. Pride isn’t bad, cleanliness isn’t vain, Enthusiasm isn’t a bad thing to have, having nice things doesn’t make you snobby
Your story is SO touching and powerful. I can feel the wisdom that you have gained from what sounds like a lot of pain. You are amazing, and your ability to lift others—because of your experience and your heart—is inspiring. So grateful you were willing to share these. Thank you!! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. What you said about the first kiss made so much sense. It clarifies the difference between a kiss from someone who truly cares for you and someone who doesn’t or can’t. I never thought about it that way.
I’m so grateful for your heart. Thank you for sharing. You make me feel like I can actually get this mess in my home together. I have older kids that live at home. It’s an endless struggle. I spend quality time with them so I tend to put off the cleaning so I can rest or sit and watch tv with them or go to the gym. I just might rejoin your organization. When I tried it before it just seemed so overwhelming. Where do I even start? Bless you for sharing
Gloria, thank you for your kind message. You’re definitely not alone, and you really can find the calm that you’re hoping for! Our free class will give you a great reminder of what we teach and we have a couple of podcast episodes that might help you with your kids. 🙂
Here’s the link to the free class, http://www.LearnDoBecome.com/STEP. This podcast episode shows you how April introduced the same concepts to her teens and tweens, https://learndobecome.com/episode47/. And this one talks about 3 ideas to make it easier to keep your home clean, https://learndobecome.com/how-we-keep-our-home-clean/. We hope it’s helpful!!
I loved everything about this. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul to help lift and inspire others. You are such a light to the world:). A few tears and lots of hope over here. I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I’d bring you chicken noodle soup if I could. Big hugs!!!
Thank you, Juventa! Virtual soup 🍜 accepted! ❤️ I am glad this was helpful and grateful you feel hope! Keep up the great work!
I loved this so much!! I recently implemented an after dinner bubble bath when I let myself chill and listening to your podcasts are the biggest treat. Thank you for your encouragement and authenticity April. Your bravery is giving me permission to follow my dreams and also be more myself . I appreciate your courage to let us hear what is going on in your head as I so relate! gracias y abrazo Amanda
Amanda, I LOVE the idea of an after dinner bubble bath! What a fantastic way to relax. ❤️ And it means so much to know that the things that feel uncomfortable to me are making a difference for you. Thank you for your encouragement, and keep up the great work!
April, you are literally my FAVORITE podcaster EVER!!! I love your genuine heart, and your courage in being bold enough to share your struggles in a way that most people cannot or do not even know how! ❤️
Yes, I listen all the way to the end to hear what my friend (you) has to say! You are a gift from God to us. 💝
Melissa, you’re so cute. I feel incredibly grateful to be a part of your life! It feels so much easier to be brave when we’re all doing it together! Thank you for your kind words!
I can not believe that I have just lost a very long winded response to Podcast 125. (I’m thinking there must have been a reason for that so I will not retype my deeply felt emotions)
I do not often comment on these, but tonight the laptop just brought me to this well needed pep talk, and April, I just have to tell you how much your work is impacting us. Even when you are not feeling your best, you still devote yourself to your vision and your words and emotions have touched my heart. When we hear your sincerity and wisdom, it truly is a gift when we need it most-I do believe a Higher Power led me to your podcast tonight, and it has inspired me to realize that our tough times really are opportunities to learn valuable lessons to use when we approach life’s next hurdles. You are so good at explaining emotions/challenges so many of us have, and you bring the direction and understanding that helps us move forward with our next steps. You have empowered us to take the baby steps required and the LDB community is an environment where it is ok to share our strengths and weaknesses with one another.
I would love to offer you a suggestion for your personal health concerns if I may. You should check out Dr. Tony Martin’s facebook page Martin Clinic Club, as he is another guiding light that a “Higher Power” has led me to for a better understanding of how important making positive lifestyle changes can impact our health. He offers daily podcasts on topics that will have you evaluating your low energy and ways to make positive changes with your health to gain back the energy that we once had. I truly am grateful to you April for pointing me in the right direction and giving me the steps to take, and to Dr. Martin for helping me get the energy back to want to set and achieve goals.
Thank you April for all you do! You are amazing 🙂
Connie, thank you for your kind words! And I am so sorry you lost your first response. That’s so frustrating… But you are very kind to take time to type a new message! It is a gift to know my work is helpful to you—and I appreciate your suggestions and support! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for being my virtual friend, April, and sharing the things you’ve learned. I think you’re about 10 years older than me, and have been one of those people I needed. I have benefitted so much from your websites. I love hearing your voice on the podcasts.
Heidi, I am SO HAPPY to be your virtual friend! You are doing such great work showing up and taking steps to improve your life and the lives of those around you, and it is my privilege to be a part of your team. xoxo
I’m listening to this podcast “late” (March 2022) and yet it’s right on time. Tomorrow I start day one of my dream job that has been 30 years in the making. I’m excited yet nervous as I step into this at the age of 51 but know I’m bringing many life experiences with me and I love to learn new things. Point #10 really resonated with me because I know this job is a major expression of who God created me to be, and He’ll be by my side as I do it. This has been a long time coming and yet in many ways right on time.
April, I’m grateful for you and your heartfelt sharing and practical helping. You, your program, and team are such gifts to us all!
Amy, thank you for your kind words, and congratulations on your new job! It sounds like you are SO ready. Wishing you all the best!!