It’s kind of embarrassing to talk about this, but for many, many years, I unknowingly suffered from an “achievement addiction,” and today I want to share a little bit of my story and hopefully help you to learn from my experience.
I have been teaching “productivity” for a long time. Building a Command Central changed my life, and it helped me to feel calm, even in the midst of overwhelm.
But “getting things done” and “finishing my checklist” was often a subconscious compulsion for me. I felt like it was the primary way I could keep my family safe, and I LOVED that feeling of accomplishment I felt at the end of a productive day.
And sure, I enjoyed my family as much as I could, but there were a few “warning signs” I didn’t know to look for:
(1) If I made a list and didn’t accomplish much of it, I felt like I’d failed, to an extent.
(2) If my husband or children talked to me too much, I felt annoyed that I wasn’t “getting to my work.”
(3) If an opportunity came up spontaneously to chat with a neighbor, go to an activity, do something fun/relaxing/social, etc., and if I WENT, I often felt this nagging feeling that I “should” be getting back to my tasks.
Now, obviously, we need to get some things done each day. We need to take care of our health, earn an income, feed our families, work toward goals that matter to us, and feel good about the lives we’re living.
But I made a mental switch recently that has really helped me.
Instead of thinking JUST about “Steps to Everyday Productivity” (our signature program with the acronym STEP), I replaced the “P” with a few other words:
- Peace
- Purpose
- Power
- (And as Eric and I were talking, he added…) “Progress” (Progress doesn’t always mean being “productive.”)
A recent podcast by world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. David Burns recently opened my eyes even further to this concept of productivity addiction. He essentially said that we can feel joyful in life doing a VARIETY of things. We can feel joyful when we are productive, but we can also feel joyful when we are relaxing, listening, supporting others, enjoying conversations, etc.
So, while I STILL want a STEP Command Central on every desk–because I believe it will literally change the world as people stop drowning in piles and overwhelm, the MAIN reason I use my Command Central each day is so I can feel all these positive “P” words:
PEACE — knowing I am engaging with the people in my life in a way I will never regret–and my mind will feel calm in the process because it will know that nothing is late or forgotten.
PURPOSE — feeling focused and confident that the choices I’m making each day align with my values and are helping me to create a life I truly can’t wait to wake up and live.
POWER — being aligned with my Higher Power and feeling that joy that comes when you know that the success of everyone in the world doesn’t depend on YOU. There is a MUCH more capable Source that has things under control, yet I have the privilege to participate in the process. And…
PROGRESS — feeling that “lift” when you see that your efforts are making an impact for good–in your personal life, in your family relationships, and in the work you do for the broader world.
So, for those of you who may also have some challenges with “productivity” and want to be a little more thoughtful about how you approach your days, I hope that these ideas can strengthen you.
Please share your ideas in the comments–I think that together, we can shape our culture in really healthy, happy ways (and still get things done, but feel a lot better about life in the process).
Sending lots of love!
April
P.S. In the podcast, I also talked about some great mental-health advice I heard from two prominent therapists in our area. And I mentioned a “Wondrium” course I’m loving called “The Science of Mindfulness: A Research-Based Path to Well-Being” with Professor Ronald D. Siegal. It’s so good!
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For those who are new…our free training, “How to Finally Stop Drowning in Piles.” Someone who watched yesterday and joined STEP posted this:
This is a good balance to my feeling that I may have wasted my money because I’ m not being as productive as I had hoped!!! Having those P words added is a,game-changer and erases my guilt!!! Thanks!
I’m hearing you WOW found someone that is the same as ME. Thank so very much it means the world to me that I am not alone.
Even dying people might still be offering to God the problems of people they’re hearing around them. Yes, productive.
Also, there’s good science behind every diet; you can have it all by eating seasonally ( more keto fat naturally in Winter; more cooling , wet fruits with oily salads in Summer; less fat and more veggies in Spring; more root veggies, maple syrup and starch in Fall)
Thank you so much, Leslye!
April, I feel spotlighted (spotlit?!) ;)!
My husband and I are both like this, just in different ways!
Thanks for creating awareness and also for the new Ps in your STEP!! I will be thinking about it!
xoxo
This is a really beautiful share, thanks for being so transparent. So much helpful, insightful and empowering stuff here.
So glad it was helpful for you, Francesca!
This was very encouraging. With physical limitations, it is easy to fall into the ‘productivity is worth’ mentality. It’s funny how when I can see the worth of just occupying the earth, I can get more done…not the whole, but I get more creative about how to do things and then I do feel better about the day.
Brilliant insights!!!
When I was upset about not being productive years ago, someone told me this: “We are human BE-ings, not human DO-ings. Make sure you are being present where you are, and not thinking about everything you have to do.” It has stuck with me for over 25 years! Hope it helps somebody else too!
Wise words!! Thanks Bev!
So good, THANK YOU!!
I love your 4 P’s – Peace, Purpose, Power, and Progress!
I had a link to this post sitting in my email for over two and a half months when I finally had a little margin time today to read it, and it was just what I needed to hear as I have been trying to create “margin” in my life and learn to be at peace with it not feeling like I always need to be accomplishing something, even when I’m “relaxing”. I didn’t realize how addicted to productivity I was, but this explains it so well! It’s good to know that I’m not the only one experiencing this. Thanks for sharing.