I grew up with “clutter” being the norm. I didn’t know how to clean or organize, and “streamlining, donating, and simplifying” weren’t even part of my vocabulary.
In 2001, Eric and I took our baby daughter on a trip to visit his side of the family, and while I was there, I picked up a book of my mother-in-law’s called It’s Here…Somewhere. It talked all about simplifying and decluttering–room by room–and I was in AWE as I read.
Here are a couple of photos from that era so you can see how young we once were. 🙂
As soon as I got home, I put the book to the test and decluttered every cupboard, drawer, closet, room, and storage area of our little apartment. I was amazed by the results, and I kept walking around and around–basking in that feeling of empty space.
That book/experience was the start of my passion for helping people to get out of the overwhelm, and today, as I was preparing for our ARISE focus on decluttering, I thought, “What was it about that book that got me so excited to clean?”
I decided to open the book, read the first few pages, and record the primary insights that had made such a lasting impression on me. I’ll list them below–or you can listen to the podcast (press “play” up above) and get more of the details.
I hope these are helpful for you!
INSIGHT #1:
Decluttering isn’t getting rid of my treasures. It’s clarifying what my treasures are.
INSIGHT #2:
It’s possible to go through my entire home and create clear, beautiful, calm space–totally getting rid of the overload.
INSIGHT #3:
Not everything deserves to share my living space.
INSIGHT #4:
Clear space feels scary at first, but it opens my brain, eases overwhelm, and puts me into creation mode instead of reactive mode.
INSIGHT #5:
I don’t have a moral obligation to keep anything I don’t like, use, need, want, or have room for. I get to curate my space…every part of it. That is a beautiful gift.
INSIGHT #6:
Possessing things does not make us successful or happy or important. A lot of media/messages out there try to convince us otherwise (mainly because they are trying to sell us something), but it all requires mental or physical space in order to accommodate it, and most of us collect more than we have the space to truly use/enjoy/appreciate all that we have.
INSIGHT #7:
Simplifying and being really clear about what you need and what you don’t need is a skill, but once you practice and really learn how to keep the BEST items, you’ll feel like your whole life has opened up.
INSIGHT #8:
I don’t have to “keep organizing” my house over and over and over and over again. As I learn to simplify, it’s amazing to watch what happens. There are no longer homeless items–or things like junk drawers or clothes piles or boxes for things like “papers.” The storage can be tailored to what I actually keep, and that enables everything to have a home, so I don’t pile things up anymore.
If you are currently living in clutter–or if you simply want to do a quick tidy of your living space, perhaps these insights–or some unique ideas that came to you as you were reading/listening–will give you a lift.
Sending lots of love!!
Helpful Links:
New to LearnDoBecome? Take this free training, How to Finally Stop Drowning in Piles
It’s Here…Somewhere (the book on Amazon–with our affiliate link)
The ARISE Membership (Come join us as we tackle decluttering this month!)
This is the 1st of your podcasts that I’ve listened to and it was amazing. So very helpful to learn what lit your fire to change, as I believe that’s what everyone needs in order to change.
Thank you for sharing.
I would LOVE to attend your free class about how to stop drowning in piles, but I am working today 4/6 & 4/7. Do you have any other dates??
Hi Sarah! Yes! There are new times on this page: https://learndobecome.com/step Enjoy!
Here’s my problem. I worry about the landfill. Not everything can be recycled or donated, and a lot of what is donated goes into the landfill.
Fabric in landfill? Especially synthetics? Bad for the environment.
E-waste in landfill? Bad for the environment.
Old equipment in landfill? Bad for the environment.
All those CDs that require equipment I no longer have? . . . You guessed it.
I donate what I can, but a lot of what gets donated merely has a middleman between the donator and the landfill. It’s just passing the buck. This is especially true for “old clothes,” but I believe for other things as well. It is expensive for the consumer to bear the costs of recycling many of these items. This is one reason they sit in my closets and garage.
I look at the stuff I’m going to send into the landfill beyond my usual weekly trash–and I balk. I think: OK, I’ll keep this in the closet or garage until I can figure out what to do with it.
But I never can.
I hear you!! This post on Reddit was really insightful, I think: https://www.reddit.com/r/minimalism/comments/k4zdh9/how_to_deal_with_landfill_guilt_when_decluttering/
So glad you are here!
Thank you–I found this helpful. It is true: I do not want to turn my house into a landfill. My husband and I are on academic semesters, so we’re planning some kind of purge when the dust settles–in May or June. I will consult your stuff–I think I joined at some level that doesn’t expire, right after the pandemic began (under a different email, actually) but then life got crazy for us as we dealt with remote teaching.
This is so awesome! I struggle with throwing things away because of “landfill guilt.” Beth’s post and the Reddit post and comments are spot-on. “My home is not a landfill.” Brilliant!
My sister pointed out to me once that everything ends up as rubbish eventually. Think a thousand years in the future kind of thing. And so it actually doesn’t make any difference if we throw it out now or in ten years or fifty years. I do my best to recycle, reduce what I bring into the house etc, but at the end of the day, some stuff is just rubbish and as consumers, that’s not our fault. We are not the manufacturers who choose to make things that end up as rubbish
This is also a very helpful perspective. Thank you for sharing! <3
I’ve had this question too, but I heard a minimalist named Joshua Becker answer it this way: everything we own will likely end up in a landfill someday, so when I don’t minimize because I’m concerned about the environment, I’m only postponing what will eventually happen (thus postponing peace in my home!). In my decluttering process, I’ve tried to donate as much as I could, throw away what I can’t donate, and remember not to buy as much in the future so I’m not contributing to those trash piles.
Beth, this is something I often struggle with as well (trashing things like old clothes, truly useless products, etc.). Thank you so much for putting it in words.
I listened to the podcast about cleaning out with three piles (or bins), but mine immediately turned into six – keep/put away, donate, trash, recycle, HHW (household hazardous waste), belongs to someone outside the home… And the seventh pile for things that don’t fit into any of these. But I appreciate Iisa’s comment below. Everything in this life is temporary and falls apart in time; rubbish is rubbish here or there, and it is not our fault when something has outlived its purpose.
I think it starts with accepting that we can’t see everything in our lives find a productive resting place.
I’m not sure which Beth you were responding to, but this is really useful. Thanks! I just ordered a couple of decluttering books (one is electronic copy so as not to add two more to my physical library!), but just thinking about the several-different-bins thing is actually a relief.
I struggle with letting go of things that I may need in the future and have to buy again. I also have a husband who is a certified hoarder and has literally taken over our entire upstairs with his stuff and has begun trickling down the stairs. I have not been upstairs in our home for over two years. The last time I went upstairs I had a full blown panic attack. There’s stuff EVERYWHERE! I know I cannot control him, but how do I let go of the little stuff?
Teresa
Your question about letting go of things you might need is a good one. I like to think about how LIKELY it will be that I will need it. (If it’s less than a 40% chance, I usually donate/get rid of it.) Then I ask, “What would I do if I didn’t have this?” Usually I realize I could either use something else, borrow one from a friend, go without, etc. The mental/physical/emotional cost or keeping so many things “just in case” isn’t worth it to me, and I have honestly never regretted simplifying. ❤️ Sending encouragement to your husband, too.
Nothing can help you de-clutter like living in an RV full-time for a year!
We own a huge house, which suits our gift for hospitality. We have extras of EVERYTHING stored in case needed. But in the last few years my husband got a job across the border. We bought an RV with the intention of living in it for the few years left until retirement and then bringing it home.
It was a scary endeavor to whittle our possessions down to essentials and a few treasures, but to my surprise, I LOVED living in 350 sq feet!
Retirement happened, we’ve just returned home, and we can’t wait to sell this monstrous house and let someone else enjoy it, while we enjoy the freedom that comes with simplicity.
Sounds amazing! Enjoy your adventures!
My least cluttered Year was the year we spent in an RV after we moved to Oklahoma after hurricane Katrina! It is essential to focus on what you really need, and since you cannot even turn around if there is clutter, you really HAVE to clear it!
This was such a helpful perspective. I have a very organized home and sometimes I keep things just because they have a “place.” I don’t actually need or use them, but they take up physical and mental space just as you say. It causes me to be continuously organizing wasting time I would so much rather spend on other things! I am also going to spend some time reflecting on number 5- I don’t have a moral obligation to keep anything. Thank you for saying this!
Any chance you might make those insights into a printable?
I might try making a quick version. Thank you for sharing!
That’s such a great idea! We don’t have one right now, but hopefully you can copy/paste from the site! Thanks Anne!
Such a useful podcast. Congratulations. My whole family will be asked to listen to this.
You look exactly like you did on those pictures.
Oh, I am so happy that you enjoyed it! Thank you, Claudine! Wishing you all the best in your decluttering!
If you had to pick one book to get started would you still recommend that one?
Hi Jen! I have read a LOT of decluttering books, but for some reason, this one just felt so simple and straightforward that it did the trick for me. I love Marie Kondo’s books, as well, so the “Magic of Tidying Up” book would be second on my list. But if you can get this one used on Amazon, I strongly recommend it. 🙂
Thank you for this! It’s great to hear someone else’s perspective, and you said just the right things to motivate me to declutter. I especially like the “just because someone you love gave it to you doesn’t mean you have to keep it”! I have a few of those! And so much more… I hold onto “things” because it’s all I’ve got to show for my life, and I’m terrified to let it go. I go into full blown overwhelm when I think about organizing, so I have small areas that are perfect – my home desk drawers, my bathroom drawers, my clothing drawers… and my work office (mostly because I want the other people I work with to think that I’m totally organized…). ANYWAY, I appreciate your inspiration today, and I am acting on it! Thank you!
Hi April, I loved your book suggestion especially since you mentioned that it helped you and so many others kick the hoarding habit for good!! I am good with physical living spaces but dealing with digital clutter is a totally different ball game. Am curious if the book suggested above can help with that.
Does it also include ways to deal with the decision making involved in purging office cabinets, paper piles and/or unfinished/incomplete business ideas that I am neither able to implement upon nor throw away?
Hi Maya! Great question! I’m not sure if you are part of our STEP program, but that’s essentially what we teach—how to make decisions on items (including papers and digital files, messages, etc.). If you haven’t seen our Directory of free content yet, it’s at LearnDoBecome.com/Directory and has the podcasts and videos outlined for you so you can hopefully find what you need!
Also, it’s a pity that the book suggested above is not readily available anywhere. One of those times when I sincerely wish I lived in your neighborhood to be able to borrow this book for a week. Thanks again for sharing!
This was what I needed to jump into the Arise Decluttering challenge this month! I am choosing our bedroom since it has become the graveyard for stuff shifting from other parts of the house
I feel so blessed to have run across the STEP program and then joining into ARISE. I believe that I am actually going to be able to move in the direction of my long time dream of being a writer and make a contribution to my profession as an osteopath. I am really looking forward to breaking through my stuckness and opening up my creativity – I know that everything you said in this podcast is correct, and yet I find I still have felt stuck, but with the support of the ARISE community and LearnDoBecome coaches I will prevail in confirming my identity as a vibrant and creative person who is able to maintain a clear space, since I grew up with the notion that somehow creativity and messiness are intertwined. I plan to be free! Of my clutter, and know I can prevail because of the support I feel here.
April and Eric and Alia, I am going to include you in the acknowledgements of my first book 🙂
What a brilliant insight!! That makes so much sense that if your brain connects creativity with messiness, you will subconsciously not want to get organized. Wow—so helpful. I know “messy” people who are creative AND “tidy” people who are creative. But the interesting thing is when I meet a messy-creative—and really talk with them—I typically find out that the disorganization is weighing on them heavily and keeping them from moving forward with their creative genius as they would like to. Great food for thought!!
❤️❤️❤️