I read an amazing testimonial from one of our STEPpers named Nancy the other day. (And if you’re new, STEP stands for Steps to Everyday Productivity, and it’s our signature program here at LearnDoBecome that will help you get totally out of the overwhelm. Links are at the bottom of this post!) As she shared her success story, she also pointed out one of the most common stumbling blocks–that I struggle with, as well, and I thought it deserved its own podcast.
Here’s what she said:
There are so many things I love about this….
First, she recognized that there was a problem–more home responsibilities, a new job, a general feeling of “frittering her days away,” and an acute awareness of how precious our time really is.
Second, she took the leap into STEP. I know it’s an investment, and I know that “starting a program” can sound scary, especially when you’ve “tried things before,” and nothing seems to work, but she gave it a go. 🙂
Third, she changed her environment and moved her workspace. I’m sure there were really good reasons why she originally set her office up in a space that she hated. We all do things like this. We sub-optimize our experiences because maybe we feel like other people need the resources/room/time/etc. more than we do, or we think we’re going to take one for the team and simply get by–because we’re strong and we don’t need any special treatment. I don’t know the details behind Nancy’s experience, but I love that she is honoring her need for mental clarity and a healthy environment.
And finally, I love that she identified her biggest stumbling block–that she was treating projects as tasks. THAT is what so many of us (myself included) tend to do, and today I want to focus on why we do this and how to get out of the habit.
Why do we treat projects as tasks?
- It initially feels easier. Writing down one phrase is simpler than taking time to do a full planning session, where we identify the purpose, principles, and outcome vision, sketch a complete brainstorm, and then organize all the next actions by priority.
- It gives us the sense that we can do more. Because if we just have 2 things written on our list, we’ll probably be able to get a whole lot of other things done, as well. That visual simplicity sometimes feels like an abundance of time, but it’s actually just hiding all the work we’re committing ourselves to completing.
- It speaks to the part of our ego that wants to believe that we’re so capable and quick that we’ll be able to do superhuman things if we just have enough strength and willpower. This one is a little hard to write because I am speaking directly to myself. Sometimes, when I’m feeling depleted and spread thin, I take a hard look at what is actually on my physical (or hidden) list of expectations, and I am ASTOUNDED at how delusional I am. It’s human nature to believe that we are above average. Wikipedia says, “In the field of social psychology, illusory superiority is a condition of cognitive bias wherein a person overestimates their own qualities and abilities, in relation to the same qualities and abilities of other people.” Ouch.
But it’s okay! We can change. 🙂
How do we change?
- Remember that we’re human, and that’s not a bad thing. Dr. David Burns (one of my favorite authors) refers to this as radical acceptance. If our internal voice says something like, “You are so slow,” we can respond, internally, with something like, “You know, you are so right. I am a human, and I need time to complete things–especially complex projects. But that’s really normal, and it’s healthy for me to only take on responsibilities that I have the energy to carry.”
- Create a solid, simple Current Projects List. We talk about this in the STEP program all the time, but the idea is to have a very, very simple list of which projects you’re committed to doing that month. The way you know it’s “just right” is if you feel a lift when you look at it. I know it sounds too easy, but it works. When we’re focused on what matters most and we’re deliberate about which projects we choose to put on our lists, we can move through life with a light, happy feeling, and we’ll actually get things done.
- Evaluate each task you write down–as you write it down. Tasks belong on our calendar (typically as flexible things we want to get done that day), and they also can go on our Next Actions List (which holds tasks to be done sometime that week, organized by where we are when we’re getting them done). As you add things to your list, learn to ask yourself, “Is this truly a task?” If it can be done in about 10 minutes, or if it is one distinct errand, or if it is totally independent from any other tasks, and you can absolutely see that it can be checked off with relatively little effort, then it’s a task. If it has multiple parts or will take several hours or requires a lot of brain power over time, it’s a project.
I hope these ideas have been helpful to you today! There is so much peace and mental clarity available for us–if we can just learn how to navigate our projects and tasks with the right mindset.
Sending lots and lots of love!
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I certainly needed this podcast! A quick scan of my current “tasks” list showed me I have many, many projects, routines, and tasks all mixed together. The clarification you gave will help me sort that out and make my task list much less formidable. Thank you!
Thrilled to hear this was helpful! I’m excited for you to simplify your list and hopefully feel a huge sense of relief!
I needed this! I get so frustrated with this, but I see some of my work ‘tasks’ are really projects. I know it all works better when I break down my planning into the smallest steps, but my lists often don’t actually consist of those and then I am harsh with myself about what I don’t get completed. I have 3 big projects to complete in the next 3 days, so I am heading off to break down those projects into achievable tasks right now! I am then going to assign some next actions to complete in the waiting room of a medical appointment I have in an hour, before hitting the ground running when I get back. This is really going to help me. I feel motivated and empowered. Actually, I feel quite excited too and these projects are not exciting – it’s getting them completed that I am excited about! Thank you for the exact push I needed!
Go Nikki!! I love that you are feeling excited about projects that aren’t necessarily “exciting.” THAT is what I believe all of us can feel. When we have momentum because our tasks are doable, then all of our work can feel purposeful and joyful. It’s a game changer. 😘 Sending so much love!! Let me know how it goes!
This podcast resonated with me in many ways but probably most in that we too will welcome our first grandchild, a boy-in July. And my priority project right now is transforming the room my son & daughter-in-law stay in in our basement into a beautiful space they can stay with their new boy when they visit. When they first got pregnant, their due date gave me the impetus/completion date to make a plan and finally get this done. I just keep checking off the next actions. Thank you April for always reinforcing my own belief that family is priority in my life.
I love that we are having the same experience! Congratulations on your grandson! What a gift you are giving them by providing a lovely place to “land.” Sending lots of love, Margaret!
Thank you so much April, and congratulations to you on your new grandson! He’s adorable. Enjoy every minute.
I love the Current Projects and Next Actions system but am getting bogged down. If I put all my responsibilities on my list then it’s too scary to look at, but if I keep it simple then I either forget things or else spend all my time on the hidden tasks and never check anything off on paper! I have eight children 16y and under so there’s lots of non-negotiable stuff, and I also try to do some things that nourish me.
You have a LOT on your plate. ❤️ I’m guessing most of your responsibilities are “routines” with your family. Is that right? If that IS the case, writing them on a Routines List you look at weekly would hopefully not feel too overwhelming. It’s more like a catalog. The hidden tasks and the things you aren’t writing down are where I would love more information. Would you mind sharing some examples? I’m wondering if you need fewer Current Projects and perhaps more time to just dedicate to routines/being available to your family when random things pop up?
Thanks April 🙂 So this week I am working from last week’s CBNAL, which has way too much on it… My categories are Housework, Planning, Errands, Computer and Phone. Under House, for example, I have: clear out an old inbox so I can use it as a landing space, look in the garage for square dowelling to fix a chest of drawers, clear my ‘landing spot’ table before it gets overwhelming, make some new labels for the filing cabinet (that I am gradually updating so I can use it for papers that are currently in piles), look in the garage for a single lost football shinpad, and (wishful thinking!) clean the bathroom ceiling. !
Hidden tasks are things that don’t make it to the list, like remembering it’s a family birthday and getting kids to make cards, or checking re transport to a youth group event my teens want to go to, or spending time toilet training my toddler.
My CPL (from May cos I haven’t made much progress) currently has Declutter Lounge, Sort out Filing Cabinet, and one for myself! to work on planning an overseas trip I have later in the year. Breaking up the projects is OK but ticking actions off the list is hard!
I despair of getting to other important things like claiming back tax on our last two financial years of donations, or photographing and selling some Lego online. Much of my time is invested in feeding and clothing people and trying to find the floor 🙂
Susanna, you are definitely in the middle of a lot–and yes–with all the feeding and clothing and basic pick-up going on, that’s a full plate of routines, so “project” time and extra one-off tasks definitely need to be at a minimum.
From a high-level perspective, I would ask how you could simplify as MUCH as possible and get the STEP system really working with just a few tiny tasks–and then add more.
For example, anything like cleaning the ceiling–which I’m pretty sure no one else would notice besides you–could go on a “Someday” list for now–or placed on a list of Saturday morning cleaning jobs that could be divided among the family members.
And if you love making cards for a family member, and if it keeps the children actively doing something creative, that’s great–but another option could be that everyone sings Happy Birthday onto a voice memo on your phone, and then you text that to the family member.
Checking on the transport to the youth group event could go on the Next Actions List under “calls” or could be a quick 2-minute text with a calendar reminder to follow up, if you don’t hear back.
And then it sounds like some of your Next Actions are related to additional projects? The chest of drawers, for example? That’s a full project to fix that, I would think? Unless you just need to find that one piece? And “clear out an old inbox”–can that be done in 10 minutes or less? If there are multiple facets to that, you might want to make the Next Action smaller.
The game I play with myself is to make my Next Actions List and Current Projects List so EMBARRASSINGLY simple that when I look at it, I feel zero overwhelm, I KNOW I can get it all done, and the voice in my head says, “Come on, April, is that all you’re capable of doing?”
I’d love for you to try it. Move everything off–even onto a sheet of paper or a digital note with a calendar trigger that you can look at next week. But try making your lists so short that you feel like a loser. (Not that anyone’s a loser, but I find that especially when your life is full of routines–and you have a lot of extra stuff going on that never gets written down, a full visual list “feels right” because it matches your FULL life. But the secret is to recognize you’re doing tons of things already, and this list needs to give you just a handful of things to do in the pockets of available time.
I’m obviously not in your home, so I could be totally off. (Please forgive me, if that’s the case!) But I’d love to see you create a small, small, small list of expectations for yourself–then conquer it, and then realize that you’re not destined to live in overwhelm. xoxo
Thanks so much April! The time and love is much appreciated!!
😘😘