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[PODCAST 196]: How to Feel Excited About Projects that Aren’t Exciting

by on 11 Comments Posted in: Family, Podcast

Today, we’re talking all about how to feel excited about projects that really don’t feel exciting. I received this great comment from Nikki not too long ago on Podcast 194 (linked at the end of this post) where we discussed the difference between projects and tasks. Her words helped to shape today’s topic:

“I needed this! I get so frustrated with this, but I see some of my work ‘tasks’ are really projects. I know it all works better when I break down my planning into the smallest steps, but my lists often don’t actually consist of those and then I am harsh with myself about what I don’t get completed. I have 3 big projects to complete in the next 3 days, so I am heading off to break down those projects into achievable tasks right now! I am then going to assign some next actions to complete in the waiting room of a medical appointment I have in an hour, before hitting the ground running when I get back. This is really going to help me. I feel motivated and empowered. Actually, I feel quite excited too and these projects are not exciting – it’s getting them completed that I am excited about! Thank you for the exact push I needed!”

Here are a few of my best tips:

(1) Connect the project to the overall purpose of what you’re doing in your life.

For example, anything related to maintaining cars, cleaning the house, organizing, planning details for a vacation, handling medical billing, getting new clothing, decluttering, etc. is part of the process for building a strong and stable family.

Things like filing receipts, setting up business systems, checking email, and performing the more mundane tasks in a business helps fulfill the purpose of providing for you and your family—and hopefully contributing some tangible value to the world.

Helping a neighbor who is sick or struggling—or putting together an activity for a community organization—helps fulfill the purpose of creating a strong social network and lifting the world around you.

Yes, there are tasks I like and tasks I don’t inherently love, but I honestly can’t think of any task that I can’t stand because everything I do relates to some part of my purpose.
(2) Do the projects alongside loved ones.
Inside our homes, if there are other people living with us, it’s really simple to make housework and family maintenance into relationship-building activities.
We simply need to ask, “How can I involve a family member in this process, and what can we do to make it enjoyable?”
I actually have a lot of strong feelings on this one. It’s common for the more mundane tasks of family life to be hired out—which, of course, depends on you and your situation, health, workload, preferences, etc. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad about that. But if I have systems in place that make these kinds of things relatively simple, I actually enjoy this work, and I feel really connected to my family and my home as I’m doing these things.
When our children were young, I had a rule that I never did housework alone. We grocery shopped as a team, washed the car together, folded laundry together, cooked together, organized closets as a family activity, and even did the morning and evening “tidy” as a family.
Now that we only have one 15-year-old at home, we still empty the dishwasher together, clean up rooms together, and run errands as family activities. (Our son got his permit and loves to drive, so he’ll accompany me on my errands, if I ask.)
If you think about these tasks and projects as “background noise” to the REAL work being done—transferring values, listening, telling stories, encouraging, complimenting, dreaming for the future—it levels the whole process up several notches. 🙂
One other thing I’ll add is that if you live alone or you do housework alone, listening to audiobooks or podcasts while you work can ALSO feel like working alongside loved ones.  I have so many “best friends” online who have kept me company while I cleaned. Hopefully I can be one of those friends for you!
(3) Use your STEP Command Central to break your projects down into incredibly manageable steps.
Like Nikki was saying, when you have Next Actions identified, you can build momentum and feel the thrill of making progress. It’s weird how this works, but I’ll give an example from my own life.
A few months ago, our water heater leaked, and water seeped through the wall, into two small closets in our basement. The carpet had to be totally removed, the baseboards had to be removed, we had to treat the area to prevent any mold from growing, and we had to take everything out of the closets (many blankets, boxes, etc. were ruined).  We also had a leak from the refrigerator upstairs, which caused a door frame in the basement to become water-damaged, as well.
This was one of those frustrating projects that no one hopes to have on their list, but it was weighing on me because the room most affected was the room where Alia, Josh, and our new grandson were going to stay when they came to visit. Every time I looked at it, I felt this little pit in my stomach…until I broke it down.
  • Find someone to fix the dry wall (sub-project).
But where?
  • Text my neighbor who just had a bunch of water damage repaired (2-minute task).
When she texted back, my next action was…
  • Text the contractor and set up a time for him to come out and give us a quote (2-minute task).
He did, and it was a great price, so he came the next day to do all the repairs. He bought all the supplies, did an amazing job, and it was fixed.
Next step…
  • Get new carpet (sub-project).
How do I do that?
  • Look at the bid from the carpet that was installed when we first moved into the house (Computer Next Action on Next Actions List).
  • Call the company that did our previous install and ask them to come out to give us a quote (Phone call on Next Actions list).
  • Look online for comparable bids (Computer task on Next Actions List).
  • Talk with Eric about whether we do the stairs AND the room or just the stairs or the whole basement (To Discuss item on the Next Actions List).
  • Make call to schedule carpet installation (Phone Call on Next Actions List).
Within a week, the repairs were completed, the carpet was installed, and we were able to fully organize the room and get it all set up for our family.
When you feel a sense of purpose, when you can strengthen relationships, and when you can easily build momentum while you complete your projects, life doesn’t feel like a long to-do list. It feels meaningful—and sometimes even magical.
I hear a lot of people talk about “drudgery” or “the grind” or “all the overwhelming things they need to do.” And I get it. That’s how life felt to me for a long time.
But when you have a STEP Command Central, and when you can take all the pain and angst and shame and frustration out of the process, you can truly wake up excited and go to bed content.
Xoxo
April

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Comments

  1. Oh, this has been a wealth of what I needed ! And I will continue to study this episode.
    I will need to listen this one over and over.
    And yes, I’ve been listening while working in the kitchen.
    And afterward it makes feel like I’m not lonely.

    All of our kids are grown.
    Most are married. ..with kids.
    Which is part of why the loneliness.
    Yet the grown kids are also how I get sweet, wonderful times, too.

    My husband passed away in August of 2023 .
    I miss him, yet I notice the Lord keeps showing me little things to delight me.

    And about a month ago, one of our grown kids. took his life.
    He was 43.

    After that, I began to get busy and keep busy.
    It’s a way of being productive, and also keeps me from thinking about that son and my husband.

    I have longed to purchase STEP for years now.

    I just couldn’t justify the expense, though it is excellent. So I just get up and get doing the next thing.

    I love this episode…I think it was 193, or maybe 194.
    Thank you for sharing. HUGS !!!!!!

    Reply

    • Sending you hugs and love! It sounds hard, even despite great faith in God and the purpose of life! I’m including you in my prayers today.

      I also haven’t found we can afford the program but April‘s podcast have given me so much hope and motivation/inspiration from over the years!

      Reply

    • Narda, I’m sending you a big hug! I can only imagine how much you are carrying right now, with the loss of your husband and your son. Thank you for your beautiful example and for sharing your experience. I love how you said, “The Lord keeps showing me little things to delight me.” That has been my experience, as well. I am grateful for you and your lovely heart! xoxo

      Reply

  2. I finished listening to your podcast and fell asleep. And when I woke up, I cried convulsively because something big had shifted in me. It was not by something specific you said, dear April, but somehow the conclusion or the integration that developed in my system after hearing your heartfelt, personal, detailed and relatable examples that just like the tasks you mention are not mundane at all that way.
    And in that way we all matter, dont we? Even if our steps in life dont look like much, even if we didnt manage to build a family, or pass on that much wisdom to others, not by doing together, not by writing or speaking. First of all: you never know which remark, which smile, which shared distress, can change something for the better in somebody else. And secondly: I believe by honestly getting through something troubling, by finding solutions when before there seemed to be none, by simply living and growing, by finding joy in completing something or cooking a good meal just for yourself if no one else wants to come, every mess cleared, or consciously listen to music that you love: this already is a meaningful life according to God. And by our vibes alone we are making this world a better place. Because we are All connected.
    So thank you so much for your support, I love you.

    Reply

    • Eva, your beautiful comment has been replaying in my mind over the past couple of days, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing something so lovely with all of us! Everything you shared here is inspiring. My mother loved to quote Emily Dickenson’s poem, “They might not need me, but they might. I’ll let my head be just in sight. A smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity.”

      We all memorized it with her, and she quoted it over and over again. One time she came home from running errands and shared that someone had been sitting alone on a bench, looking somewhat sad, and she went over and sat next to them. She didn’t necessarily know what to say or IF to say something, and she didn’t want to pry into their lives (it turns out they didn’t speak the same language, so she couldn’t have communicated anyway), but she sat by them and gave an encouraging smile. And then she quoted that Emily Dickinson poem as she explained the experience, the smiles, the compassion, and the hopeful outcome.

      She wasn’t trying to build herself up by telling us about her service. It was more that she’d had a special connection where she felt God’s love for someone else.

      But you’re right that even when we’re in our own homes–not “smiling” at anyone or doing service or “doing” at all, there is still value in who we are and what we bring to the world. Thank you for sharing this. I’m so grateful you are here with us at LearnDoBecome!

      Reply

  3. Thanks for yet another great podcast! Very helpful. I do have a clarifying question: you said that you never do housework alone. How do you manage that? Picturing it, I have a hard time believing I would get everything done if I involved my children in all the work that needs to get done.
    Also, a few weeks ago you mentioned you are planning to do an episode on what you do when you are sick. I am really looking forward to hearing that one!
    Thanks again.

    Reply

    • Thanks for the great questions, Sara! (And for others who may have similar questions, episodes 201 and 202–coming in a few weeks–will answer these questions!) xoxo

      Reply

  4. Thank you for taking the time to also make show notes!! It’s so nice to listen while on the go or doing housework and, needing visuals, to be able to have notes to review later – I make use of it!!

    Reply

  5. I’ve heard you talk about the “Work and Family Relationships” course you took back in college, that changed your outlook on your home life. I’ve been searching everywhere for materials about this. What books or resources did you use in this course?
    I want to change from taskmaster to collaborator.
    Thanks for all you do. 🙂

    Reply

    • It seriously was the best class! We had a packet of readings, and I believe I still have it in my college boxes. ❤️ It may take a while for me to get to it, but in the meantime, I do have quite a few articles and podcasts about working alongside our children at Power of Moms (just search “April Perry” and “housework” or “cleaning” in the search function on that site). It is a huge game changer, and I’m excited to hear how it goes for you!

      Reply

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