If this topic resonates with you, it’s most likely because you’re responsible, capable, and there’s a lot on your plate. I hope you get a chance to listen to this episode, but here are the bullet points I covered, if you only have time to skim!
(1) You’ll want to prioritize a Weekly Review (30 minutes to 1 hour) when you have the most quiet and energy. Maybe it’s a Sunday afternoon after a nap, maybe it’s a Friday morning–early–when you’ve gotten to bed early the night before. But this overall preview/review of your week is going to make a huge impact. See the related links at the bottom for a podcast about weekly reviews!
(2) Prioritize a 2- to 5-minute Daily Plan–also done when you have the most quiet time and energy. This might be first thing in the morning or in the evening before you go to bed, but if you deliberately “create your day,” you’ll feel less like a victim and more like an agent of change–even if things don’t always go as planned. I’ll link the “Create Your Day” podcast at the end!
(3) Create a VERY small Current Projects List. Even one project is sufficient. If you have a lot of routines, then trying to also do a lot of projects is just going to overwhelm you. Instead, recognize that if your life is full of routines–caring for children, working full time, volunteering in the community, doing all kinds of things for others–you need to start really, really small with “projects.”
(4) Have your Next Actions ready to go on your Next Actions List. (Take our free training, linked at the bottom, if you haven’t learned about Current Projects and Next Actions already.) The secret is to have 10-minute microbursts that will move your project(s) forward WITHOUT having to think about the whole project. They need to be so easy that even when you have a lot going on, you can look at your context-based list and say, “Oh yes! I can do that!”
(5) Work alongside family members (if you are caring for children/living with others) as often as possible. I go into quite a bit of detail on this in the podcast, so please listen if you want more here, okay?
I am sending my love! I know how hard it feels to keep life and a family and a business and community work going, and I know things can feel heavy sometimes, but I promise that these 5 things will make a difference.
If you have questions/need clarifications, please put them in the Comments section, okay?
xoxo
Related Links:
- [PODCAST 193]: 4 Principles for a Solid Weekly Review
- [PODCAST 174]: Create Your Day
- Are you new to LearnDoBecome and the STEP Program? Click here for our free introductory training: How to Finally Stop Drowning in Piles.
- Ready to join our program and become a STEPper? This link has all of the information in one place for you!
- If you’ve been following along with LearnDoBecome for the last little while, now is the perfect time to become an ARISER! This membership is full of amazing community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. You can sign up for a free, 7-day trial here.
Valeria Lewis says
Hi April,
Thanks so much for opening your heart as always. I like the idea of building relationships through stuff that needs to get done at home. How did you do it do that your kids weren’t surprised when you asked them to help. Did you lay out chores they would be expected to do or did you really just ask for their help? What did you do if they said no?
April Perry says
Great questions! I learned a lot about “how to say it” from my friend Amy McCready at Positive Parenting Solutions, but here are some quick ideas:
(1) We did make charts and hung them in the kitchen–with things like after dinner job rotations, Saturday responsibilities (fridge, bathrooms, vacuuming, etc.), and laundry jobs. That way, everyone knew what they were responsible to do, and we used the “when-then” method (when the house is clean, then we can do this other activity).
(2) But on the more random things like bringing in groceries, helping change sheets, making dinner, putting other things away, I would just ask nicely (and try to make the tasks work with the general flow of our home so I wasn’t interrupting homework or time with a friend or pulling them off the couch if they were really tired). Sometimes they said they didn’t want to or didn’t feel like it, but I would say something like, “Okay, why don’t you rest a bit, and then we can work on it together in a few minutes?” (But then I would genuinely have them rest–without screens or other distractions.) And sometimes we needed to have several conversations about how everyone lives in the house, so everyone gets to help keep it lovely–and that my job is to prepare them for adulthood, which means they need to know how to take care of things. And because my goal was always to keep the relationships strong, I was careful to keep it positive. Things like, “Let’s turn on some music and have a 10-minute dance party while we get this done” or “I know it’s been a long day–let’s finish this up, and then we can relax together.” On occasion, when I was stressed and tired, I would stomp around the house and get frustrated with everyone, but honestly, that didn’t work very well! I did get an “angry hat” and did role plays with puppet shows, if you want to read more about that here: https://powerofmoms.com/angry-hats-and-puppet-shows-creative-ways-to-deal-with-the-madness/
I think the main idea is that we want to make “shared work” a daily routine, and although every family is different, when we take the lead and teach them how to do it, it makes a huge difference. If you’re in our STEP Mastery program, we have a resource in the STEP Library that goes in depth on our charts and routines and things from when our children were younger. Hope this helps!
Valeria says
Thank you April! It helps very much!
Suzanne Rockney says
Hi,
Today is the first time I actually listened to your podcast. You have been on my phone for probably at least two years. But as you said in your podcast #201; I’ve been just too overwhelmed and running in circles. Since I’ve been retired I thought my life would calm down. Well, it hasn’t. I’m going to listen to this podcast again. I have ADHD that was diagnosed when I was 60, I think your podcast really spoke to me and I really appreciate what you are doing.
Thank you,
Suzanne
April Perry says
Sounds like there’s a lot on your plate, Suzanne! We are glad you are here, and I hope that some of these ideas can be helpful to you. xoxo
Jen K. says
This was spot on! It was so helpful to go along with our ARISE topic this month. I also went back and printed out the create my month handout. That is the piece I was missing. I have a great system for current projects and projects on hold, but I needed something visual for the month. Now I am all set for this month.
Carol says
I needed this tonight. My husband is tired of piles that get bigger instead of smaller!! I have ADHD and OCD!! These ideas really help. I made my list for tomorrow, and lists to help me prepare for our weekend guests! Now to get some rest so I have energy to make it doable!
Julie says
Any suggestions/ideas on how to start the working-alongside-the-family concept with a tween? I love the idea of only doing housework when everyone is home and doing chores while they’re in the same room, but… But what if the tween tends to spend a lot of time shut up in their bedroom when home? Thanks for ideas.
April Perry says
I understand! (I was a tween who spent a lot of time alone in my room… And as our children get older, they’re not hanging around us as much.) In that case, I recommend setting “appointments” with your child to clean together and letting them know well in advance. Something like, “I’d love some help tidying up and making dinner tonight! Do you want to help me around 3 or 5?” (Give a couple options, if possible.) Or, “We’re doing a 1-hour clean-up Saturday! I can do 10am or noon–what would work best for you?” Maybe give that a try and let me know how it goes!
Sara says
April, I had asked the question about how to include your kids in housework a little while ago, and was thrilled when you answered it in this episode. The day I listened to it, I got my small children to help me sort clean laundry. We made it a challenge to beat a timer, and they were very focused, and very pleased when they were done in the allotted time. Since then I’ve gotten them involved daily with simple chores, and sometimes they even ask what they can do! I know we haven’t been doing this very long, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a game changer for our house! I was trying to get things done while they were away so that we could spend ” quality time” together, but I’m finding that doing the chores together IS quality time! This is a new and wonderful experience for me! Thank you very much for sharing what you have learned.
April Perry says
I love this!! So thrilled for you! And YES–I think that is the biggest paradigm shift that most families would really benefit from: “doing chores together IS quality time.” Keep up the great work!
Rebecca McLoughlin says
Hi April! Love your work and how much heart and passion you put into it. Wondering if you have any resources about how to use your work with people with ADHD. Overall I think the step program is a fantastic resource but wanted to see if you had any additional thoughts about the cross over in challenges and supports. Thank you!
April Perry says
This is such a great question, Rebecca! I posted it in our free Community Facebook group (https://LearnDoBecome.com/FBfamily if you want to check out the responses there!). While we have many, many members of our community who have experience with ADD/ADHD, I am not an expert in this area. However, I have heard that the step-by-step process we teach for capturing new ideas as they come and the seamless nature of the Command Central (for bringing good ideas BACK at the appropriate time) has been incredibly helpful. I do encourage you to join the free Community group conversation and see what others have to say! I also asked people to share their favorite books, video channels, etc. on the topic. Thank you!!