Today’s episode is a little bit different. I’ve actually been hesitant to publish it because I don’t love being sick, and I don’t love talking about being sick. However, because I’ve spent several months and years dealing with illness–and I’ve learned some things that have made a difference, I thought I would share!
I truly believe that the time we are sick can be a type of chrysalis–where we can grow and change for the better, even though it isn’t necessarily a pleasurable experience. I’m sending a huge hug if you are currently not feeling well–and I am personally prayerful that all of us can move forward with better health each day.
I encourage you to listen to this whole audio (push play above or listen on any podcast app), but if you only have the time/energy to skim, here you go!
(I actually wrote all of this when I was sick in bed because I wanted to make sure I had the right perspective and enough empathy for others who might be struggling.)
(1) Clear your plate. (Renegotiate projects, simplify routines, and cancel as much as you can so you don’t feel things weighing on you.)
(2) Have some fun downtime. (Movies, audiobooks, or just rest and don’t feel guilty about resting. A calm mind will help you recover.)
(3) Ponder questions that will impact you when you are feeling better. (What is most important to me? Where do I make the highest contribution? Where do people really need love? How can I be more mentally healthy? What am I afraid of? Why do I hold back in some areas? What have I not started that I need to start?)
(4) Learn skills that will serve you when you are healthy. (Read books regarding your profession or hobbies or that address your biggest pain points. Have a notebook where you can sketch ideas as they come to you. Watch video tutorials for cooking or drawing or decorating or healthy eating. Even if you can’t do them right now, you can expose your mind to new things. And you can cheer people on who ARE healthy—and celebrate the life they are living.)
(5) Express love—to your family, friends, social media contacts, etc.—through texts or messages.
(6) Draw closer to your higher power.
(7) Move forward on some goal that is exciting to you—as you are able. (I outline podcasts, work on classes I want to teach, do research, make a new sticker chart, and brainstorm other projects that feel exciting to me.)
(8) Develop compassion. Become the person that you appreciated when you were sick.
I know that being sick can feel incredibly difficult–especially if your illness lasts a long time or there isn’t a lot of hope that you’ll feel better. Please know that you are precious and valuable, even when you aren’t “doing” a lot.
Sending lots of love–and please share your suggestions in the Comments section, if you’ve discovered something that helps you feel a lift when you’re sick. Thank you for being a part of this community!
Related Links:
- [PODCAST 170]: “Achiever” Verses “Becomer” – A Self-Assessment
- Ready to learn more about/join our STEP program? This link has all of the information in one place for you!
- Our ARISE membership is a gathering place for of community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. We focus on a new topic each month, and this is an amazing opportunity to receive coaching and support from Team LearnDoBecome. You can sign up for a free, 7-day trial here!
I felt so much empathy for you during this podcast. Five years ago I got sick in February, could not sleep at all due to my constant coughing, went in for a test and was immediately put in the hospital for a week. It wound up I needed open heart surgery and a complete hysterectomy. I was sent home on complete bed rest until I could have my heart surgery and then six weeks later had my hysterectomy.
But by the middle of September, I was healed and on my way to getting my strength back. Like you, I felt pretty worthless during that time, but I was also determined to do what I could—no matter how long it took or how much I needed to adapt. I could sit on a bench in the laundry room and move laundry from the washer to the dryer a couple of pieces at a time, but I got it done. I also documented the entire time period with daily postings on Facebook immediately following surgeries and weekly when I was out of the woods and just taking it easy while I healed. That helped communicate how I was doing without me having to call a list of people every time I had an update. It’s also great to look back at to remind myself what I have been through.
The thing I took away from this experience was how much I didn’t know; how many things I needed to figure out. I wish I had the confidence to teach classes on this, but I decided to just contact anyone I heard about that was having (or just had open heart surgery) and offer them a listening ear and share what I learned with them. I mean, as a woman with a large chest incision and a sternum that was cut in half and wired back together, can you wear a bra? What kind? How do you get it on and off? What can you do with your hair when you can’t put both hands behind your head at the same time so you can’t put it in a bun or pony tail? How can you sleep when you can’t turn over? All those things I wish someone had told me in advance, I try to answer for other people.
Linda, thank you so much for sharing your story! I love that you are reaching out to support others with what you learned. Sending a huge hug your way!
Dear sweet April,
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt podcast. Your heart is so sweet and tender and I love how you always share your authentic self.
I resonated with your topic as it hits close to home with me. I got diagnosed with a rare cancer a year ago.
God has been so gracious with me on this journey. I spent eight months undergoing chemo treatments and finding my way to health on many levels: spiritual, psychological, mental, physical, relational, and nutritional.
Then I prepared for surgery. Just this past April I had a very major surgery to remove the tumor that had grown pretty large in my inferior vena cava and also into my right atrium. By only God’s miracle, the surgeons got all the cancer out with clear margins, and I am now cancer free! Recovery has been a long, slow process and I spent two months in the hospital.
I am home now, thank God! And I’m getting better day by day. I have a wonderful support system of family and friends, and I’m so grateful for them. But I know just what you mean when you spoke of wanting to contribute or do something when your mind is sharp, yet your body doesn’t have the energy to play along.
Thank you so much for sharing, April. I’m praying for your health to be on the upswing, but in those moments when you have to rest, please know you have a community of people who love you.
God bless,
Cathy
One of your “Steppers” 🙂
Cathy, I am so, so happy to hear that you are recovering each day! Sounds like you have been through a lot, and I appreciate your beautiful faith. Thank you for your love and prayers. It means so much!
Hi April, thank you so much for all you do for us without cost… If I could ask you one thing, it would be this… How can I better manage life with an “invisible” diasbility? I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, as well as lifelong depression that does not respond well to treatment… I lost a job because of it, my house is a disaster, and I don’t see a way out. It takes all I have just to do the dishes and laundry. Yet extended family and society at large see me as lazy and stupid. Listening to podcasts like yours gives me a little boost of hope. I often listen while I am doing the laundry or dishes, in fact! Thank you for all that you do, and more importantly, thank God thatt you are becoming who God made you to be! <3
Ahhh—Lisa, I just want to give you a huge hug! Of COURSE you are not lazy and stupid, and clearly you are suffering right now. I am sending so much love, and I hope you can feel that!
I am not a doctor or an expert in health, and I’m not even aware of the details of your circumstance (other than what you shared here), but if I had to make a wild guess, here is what I would recommend—because my health issues have mostly been “invisible,” too…no doctor or medicine could help me:
(1) Have you taken the time to step back and identify any emotional root causes for your illness and depression? I’m curious if you’ve had trauma in your past, which could subconsciously cause your body to shut down and which could be the root of your depression.
(2) Have you explored David Burns’ book, “Feeling Good”? His podcast is for therapists, but I’ve listened to pretty much every episode and read all his books (and the audio books), and they have been AMAZING at helping me figure out my distortions. Working with a TEAM CBT therapist has also been game changing for me. I have a couple podcasts about my experiences at LearnDoBecome Radio.
(3) Dr. Gabor Mate has a book called “When the Body Says No,” and there are several good videos on YouTube. Those were eye opening for me—and I’m guessing your body is acting FOR you in some ways. (I’m a natural people pleaser and never want to hurt anyone, so when I find myself in a tough spot, my body stops digesting, and I get really sick. Now that I know that, I can work through it when it happens.)
(4) Joe Dispenza’s books “Evolve Your Brain” and “You are the Placebo” have been super helpful for me, as well. He also has a series on the Gaia app called “Rewired” that I have listened to 10 times. It has really helped me. (As a side note, I am Christian, and his work isn’t centered on God or religion, but I found the principles worked really well with my faith.)
The main thing I want you to feel is empowered—because it is so frustrating when you feel sick and no one can help. I’ve learned that our bodies are really smart—and really sensitive. If we are suffering, there is a good reason. Sometimes the pain is really deep, and it is hard to dig it up and get it out—especially if we are afraid we will hurt someone if we voice what we are feeling. But the more I learn, the more I believe that we can change our brains and our bodies so we feel healthier. Of course I don’t know everything, and there may be circumstances beyond what we can control, but I hope some of the resources I listed here can be helpful to you. ❤️
Hi Lisa,
I’m just a fellow person enjoying LearnDoBecome, but your situation reminds me of someone I’ve been following for a few years. http://flylady.net/ Hopefully, it will be another resource to support you.
Good luck!
Susan
Susan, thank you for sharing this great resource. We love the FlyLady! April used some of her resources early in her own journey. We dive even deeper into this in our Steps to Everyday Productivity (STEP) program. You can learn more about that here, http://www.LearnDoBecome.com/STEP.
You may also enjoy being part of our free LearnDoBecome Community Facebook group. Follow this link to request access, LearnDoBecome.com/FBfamily. “See” you there!!
April, I always appreciate when you share about your illness, the frustrations you’ve had with it, and your learning how to navigate life with it because I definitely can relate. While I don’t have a chronic illness, I have had chronic pain since 2009 due to arthritis, bursitis, and joint injury from normal activity and compensation in both shoulders, both knees, and a hip. These have limited much of my mobility, which has been very frustrating as I am someone who has always been active and have always had a lot of projects, ideas, and creativity in mind. I’ve had to put most of these aside and can no longer keep up with anything beyond the basics in the care and maintenance of my home, which can be very depressing.
In the past 14 years, I’ve had countless physical therapy sessions for general mobility and strengthening as well as surgery recovery, countless steroid injections (which no longer help), several sessions of fluid aspiration of my swollen knees, cartilage injections in my knees, complex rotator cuff surgery on both shoulders, and a meniscus tear repair on my left knee. At 56, I’m finally “old enough” to get a total knee replacement of my right knee, which will happen on August 16. I’ve worked really hard to get to this place, including losing weight and advocating for myself with the medical community, but I also know this surgery will mean more intense pain, lots more physical therapy, and dedication to my PT exercises to regain full mobility.
I share a lot of responsibilities for extended family members (elderly mother, special needs grandchildren) and have a pretty demanding workload. My surgeon said to expect to be off work anywhere between four to twelve weeks. I’ll be allowed to work from home for a while after I no longer need pain medications, because this is my “driving” knee. But I know my workload will be pretty overwhelming once I get back (it’s already pretty intense), and working from home has its shortcomings. I’ll have to rely on others unfamiliar with my work to do some of it that can’t be accessed remotely.
Given all these challenges, I’m actually looking forward to surgery not only to get a new knee, but to have time off from all my major family and work responsibilities for a while in order to just take care of me. Several family members and friends have offered help and I have made of list of them and will contact them for help with rides to appointments, meals, housework, etc.
Your podcasts, videos, and the Steps to Everyday Productivity Starter Program which I joined in 2019 have really helped me personally and professionally. I listen to every podcast and watch every video and apply what I have learned both at home and at work. At my job, I set up a workflow process for my project management, based on your Asana workflow of Current Projects, Waiting, Next Actions, Someday, etc. We can’t use third-party software like Asana or Trello at my government job, so I set my project management up in Microsoft OneNote, with a page for each project and different tabs for the workflow area that the project is currently “parked” in. I’ve shared it with my colleagues over the years and a number of them are utilizing it for their own project management. (Also, Microsoft now has an app called Project that I’m hoping to learn about and utilize down the road; it’s a Someday project!)
Thank you so much for providing the above 8 steps. I will be referring to them post-surgery to give myself grace and to especially focus on numbers 2, 6, and 7.
Miriam, I am soooo proud of you and how you are building your system and making such a difference in your workplace, in spite of ALL the challenges you have been through. You are a strong, resilient woman, and I am grateful beyond what I can express that you are here with us! ❤️❤️❤️
I adore you and appreciate your work so much. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
You are so kind, Lisa! I am grateful this is helpful for you! xoxo