Are you the kind of person who puts “everyone else” before yourself?
It’s admirable, in many ways, right? You’re probably described as caring, compassionate, unselfish, thoughtful, etc. And that’s beautiful!
But if you feel guilt when you take time for yourself, that’s actually a problem, and I want to provide a few reasons why:
(1) You’re going to become depleted. We’ve all heard that we can’t give water from an empty well, and we’ve all heard the “oxygen mask” analogy. You know in your heart that self-care is essential, but if you feel guilty/think it’s being selfish to do so, you probably won’t actually take care of yourself. And we all know what happens when our needs go unmet for an extended period of time.
(2) Your body may begin to “say no.” I was recently introduced to the book by Dr. Gabor Mate called “When the Body Says No.” It was EYE OPENING. The premise is that the characteristics that people are most often championed for possessing (being super kind, doing things for everyone else, never putting their own needs first) are the exact characteristics that lead them toward chronic disease. You can read the book/listen to his YouTube videos/social media videos and form your own opinion, but this really resonated with me, and I’ve been making some significant changes in my life to combat this.
(3) You’re going to act out of resentment instead of love. Maybe you haven’t experienced this, but as I’ve looked at my health issues over the past few years, I firmly believe they were based on the fact that I was doing a bunch of things out of obligation–and not because I really wanted to do them. A lot of anger hid below the surface, and because anger and resentment were fueling a lot of my tasks and routines, it was nearly impossible to create out of love. (I still did as much as I could, but “creating out of love” caused more stress for me because it decreased the amount of time I had to rest and replenish in other ways….) Eric and I have had some pretty honest heart-to-heart discussions lately, and while it’s been painful, and I inadvertently caused pain in some other people as I processed my emotions, I think I’m on a good track now, and I’ve decided that I am not doing that anymore.
So here’s the one-sentence perspective that changed everything for me–and I believe it will change everything for you:
If you are taking time for yourself–and you feel guilty about it–you are probably doing something RIGHT.
I keep that thought at the back of my mind now, and I can’t tell you how much healthier I’m feeling. My rashes are gone, I’m healing all of my digestive issues naturally, I’m actually sleeping through the night for the first time in 20+ years, and I feel more hope about my future.
Yes, our stage of life has also changed, so I’m sure that’s helping, too, but the thing is that even though I could have taken more time for myself in the past several years, I didn’t do it nearly as often as I could have. I still believed that me “working so, so hard” was proof that I cared about people and God and proof that I “mattered.” I still put forth quite a bit of effort each day, but I’ve taken my foot off the gas in areas where it really doesn’t matter, and I’ve changed the way I see the world (and connected closer with my Higher Power–using my alignment there as evidence of my “success.”)
I hope this helps you today. A lot of times, when people are interested in our programs, they hesitate because it feels “wrong” to invest time and energy and money in themselves. Of course, I don’t want you going into debt/spending money you don’t have, but if you COULD take the time to build your Command Central and get your life organized and take a burden off your shoulders, and if you know it would serve you, I hope that you’ll make that choice!
Four Weeks to Finished – Would you like to work personally with me, Eric, and Team LearnDoBecome to build your full STEP Command Central? We open this special group coaching opportunity once or twice a year, and we would love to have you join us! Our next start date is Thursday, September 7th, 2023! (And if you’re reading this later, click that link to find out when it’s launching next!)
Steps to Everyday Productivity – Our signature program designed to help you build your full Command Central and get out of overwhelm for good!
Our ARISE membership – an amazing gathering place for community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. We focus on a new topic each month, and this is an amazing opportunity to receive coaching and support from Team LearnDoBecome. You can sign up for a free, 7-day trial here.