Do you have family members and friends who would benefit from getting organized, but you don’t know how to help them?
Maybe it’s a spouse, parent, sibling, or child. Maybe it’s a best friend or neighbor.
And perhaps you’ve already tried “helping,” but you ended up doing a lot of work that didn’t stick–or stepping on toes and hurting your relationships.
I’m sharing 5 ideas today that I have personally found to be helpful, but I want to begin with the story of one of our community members who has modeled this beautifully!
Nichole shared this in our STEP Mastery Facebook group, and she has kindly given us permission to share her photos and the experience. I know you will be inspired!
”Learning, doing, becoming… wash, rinse, repeat. Photos below are the garage of a friend. She’s had a complicated few years including starting a remodel, relocating to a different state, maintaining two households, relocating back… (much still in progress) and asked if I could help with her garage. Before STEP, I would have said yes but been overwhelmed not getting my own things done and trying to help others. Instead, I said YES YES YES and was easily able to schedule sessions with her, adapt other needs and priorities, all with no stress. Short story, they now have a fully functional garage, places for their support materials (much larger cubbies needed for construction stuff!!!), and two cars fit for the upcoming cold weather months! They are exhibiting healthy habits! (Can you say two minute rule?) I walked into session two with the Mrs. saying “Nichole wouldn’t want you to put that there” They’ve started on inside spaces (this is now a family series of projects), and I’ll be stopping in to assist for those emotionally heavy areas and items. I love love love this program and love introducing others to it!
Thank you STEP and STEPpers!!! #STEPwin”


When I received this via email, from Candice, who is on our team and helps collect success stories for me to share, I replied with, “This one brings tears to my eyes!” Candice then replied, “Ditto!” We love our community members, and it means so much to see you helping one another and those inside your circles of influence.
Because Nichole modeled this so well, I wanted to pull out five principles from this story that all of us can apply if we want to help someone we love to get organized:
(1) Make sure they have the desire.
With a young child in your home (and even teenagers), yes, you sometimes have to be the one with the desire. But when we’re working with peers, partners, parents, etc., trying to go in and “fix them” simply doesn’t work. Unless you’re going to do every ounce of the work and maintain it for them and make all of their daily decisions (which isn’t healthy or desirable), the mess will come right back.
But if they ask and are willing to put in the effort, your support and love will make a huge difference!
(2) Do a microburst together.
Sometimes the person who’s overwhelmed simply needs hope. They need to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. You could say, “I know it feels overwhelming when you look at everything at once. How about we set the timer for 10 minutes and just do the very next thing that needs to be done.”
This could be 10 minutes of picking up trash, 10 minutes moving a piece of furniture, 10 minutes sketching what you want the area to look like, 10 minutes pulling clothing or other items out that need to be donated, etc. Most people can wrap their minds around 10 minutes, and having a friend beside them can help overcome the temptation to procrastinate.
(3) Teach simple skills.
Skills like identifying Next Actions, the 2-minute rule, working in microbursts, and basic project planning can provide someone a framework in which they can move forward independently. We have lots of training materials here on the website, and we’ll link a few down below! But whether it comes from us or a great video on YouTube or from a book you’ve read, when we can teach others to “fish,” they’ll know how to “keep fishing.”
(4) Balance “working alongside them” with “leaving the ball in their court.”
I was so impressed with how Nichole got her friends started, but then left them to work on their garage some more and continue working throughout their home. She’s willing to go back to help with more emotional items, and I’m sure she’s happy to answer questions and offer moral support, but she’s not signing herself up to do all of the work in every room of the house…all by herself.
(5) Love and encourage.
No one wants to live in a mess. I grew up moving piles around in circles. I didn’t know how to clean a bathroom. Besides vacuuming the center of my room and making my bed, I didn’t know what it meant to keep my room clean. I never once emptied a refrigerator or cleaned under furniture or took more than a few steps into our garage. I didn’t know how to put things in a bag and take them to a donation center. I didn’t know people actually bought cleaning supplies. I didn’t know that bedding needed to be laundered.
And when I went to college and then got married and had a home of my own, I didn’t know it was possible not to feel overwhelmed.
I was too embarrassed to talk about my problems with others–and I just figured they were magic when it came to keeping house. And when we tried to start a business and navigate all the financial responsibilities of adulthood, in addition to raising children and volunteering in our community and everything that comes with life, I would swing from total anxiety to “just watching TV for hours.”
Most people are living in overwhelm. Sometimes it emails and digital tasks that feel like too much. Sometimes it’s the house. Or parenting. Or navigating those really tough parts of life we rarely discuss. It was the love I felt from the authors of the books I read that changed my life. I read and read and read–and then I applied what I learned, and then I got out of the overwhelm. It’s been nearly 15 years now that I’ve been teaching this to others.
We all need love and encouragement, and sometimes it’s difficult when those we love aren’t ready for change. But when they are ready, if we can meet them where they are and guide them with simple steps that leave us both feeling empowered and replenished, I believe the results will be life-changing.
Much love! (Please share in the comments how you’ve helped your loved ones to organize! We’d love to hear from you!)
Related Links:
- [PODCAST 24]: The “Clean-A-Drawer” Challenge
- Free Training: How to Finally Stop Drowning in Piles
- [VIDEO]: Project Planning with April and Eric
- Clean Your Room Challenge (a super simple, encouraging activity/resource for kids!)
Links to share with friends!
Our ARISE membership – an amazing gathering place for community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. We focus on a new topic each month, and this is an amazing opportunity to receive coaching and support from Team LearnDoBecome. You can sign up for a free, 7-day trial here.
Want to learn about our STEP program and build your Command Central? Click here for our information page!
Thank you!
So glad this was helpful to you. Thank you, Sophie!
OMG April, your podcast really resonated with me at the deepest of my core! You were so transparent with your feelings and emotions. It was quite mind boggling to me how much supporting your LDB community means to you.
I was actually overwhelmed today and your podcasts as usual, helped me put in 10-min microbursts to start cleaning up my physical spaces, giving me that ‘lift’. Then I wondered, why do I keep getting into these ruts again and again, despite getting these done in the past. Why do I keep going till 80%, then giving up and the whole cycle starting all over again? Your comments on us learning to bless others (just like Nicole did with her friends), resonated with me. Am hoping to reach out to a friend to see how I can help her out (in addition to cleaning up my own spaces) and am also learning to take support from my loved ones in the decluttering process.
What a gift your comment was to me! I am proud of you for moving forward and being a support to your loved ones. We all have things going on behind the scenes that we need to overcome, but you are doing it!! Thanks for being here with us, Vishy!
I grew up in a small, clean home. My mother wanted me to enjoy my childhood, so I rarely did chores. She didn’t know. Later, I had my own family and in my 40s had pee stains in the toilet that everyone saw. I hated the mess and breathing in the Ajax powder and had NO IDEA that I could just swish the toilet with the toilet brush every day or so and sometimes with a liquid toilet cleaner (didn’t know there was such a thing!). It’s embarrassing how dense I was at such an old age because, unfortunately, I’m an in-the-box thinker. So learning from you has been, not to sound cliché, life-changing! I am less confused, less overwhelmed and less hopeless 😅. We can’t help how we grew up and how we made sense of what we’re supposed to do. I wonder how much I’m still blind to. It’s hard to know what to do when the HOWs are unknown. This is why I love ❤️ the STEP Mastery program, your podcasts, YouTube videos amd book suggestions! Thank you, April & Team!
Thanks for sharing more of your story, Michelle! I love that we can all learn these things now! (And I know I’m still blind to some things, but we keep learning and moving forward as appropriate.) Thanks for your positivity and encouragement here at LearnDoBecome!
I’d love to see a list of the books you read that you said taught you how to live life reducing the overwhelm. Thanks!
Deb, thanks for asking! Here is the list:
“Essentialism” by Greg McKeown
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey
“Getting Things Done” by David Allen
“Organizing from the Inside Out” by Julie Morgenstern
“Sink Reflections” by Marla Cilley – The Flylady
You can see others on our Amazon favorites list. https://LearnDoBecome.com/Books
Enjoy!