Hello friends! I hope that your new year is going beautifully and that you are waking up excited and going to bed content. But if you’re waking up in a big mess and going to bed in a big mess right now, I want to share a little piece of encouragement.
A lot of our community members are using this time of year to get things in order. Now that the holidays are over, children are back in school, “regular life” is coming back, etc., it’s a great time to clean the house, organize your emails, update your project lists, and get to a place where you feel like your feet are back under you.
But sometimes in that process, the results don’t come as quickly as we would like. Some projects take multiple microbursts to complete, sometimes you have to leave things undone for awhile because of illness or to support a loved one, and sometimes unexpected things come up–like a disagreement or an urgent request or a series of “snow days” that leave you shoveling the driveway for days at a time.
So if you’re in a situation like that right now, I hope this story will help.
About 10 years ago, my husband and I took our four young children to visit the place where we were married in Los Angeles. It’s a beautiful building, with vast, sweeping lawns, gardens, benches, trees, and a reflection pool right in the heart of that busy city.
That particular day, I had been feeling a bit weighed down by my family life. Our children were active and busy, Eric and I were trying to build our business together, we were giving a lot of time to our church and community, and to be quite honest, nothing in our life felt calm or put together.
There’s a visitors’ center there on the grounds with a variety of displays, and when I went inside that day, I noticed some old photographs featuring the building when it was under construction. It was essentially a big mess, with dirt, machinery, and scaffolding—and no place for grass, flowers, or benches.
As I examined those photos, I felt that quiet voice in my heart (I personally call it “the Spirit”) say, “It’s okay that your family life often feels like a mess right now. You are essentially living in a construction zone. Don’t give up hope. Keep building!”
This “construction zone” analogy has been helpful to me ever since that experience. When all of our children were at home, for example, the dinner hour was so busy. I’d be making the meal, helping with homework, answering phone calls, and trying to finish a variety of tasks for the day–while also managing sibling squabbles, cleaning up spills, and trying to make our home a happy place. That was our construction zone.
Or take this past weekend–Eric and I hadn’t really had the chance to talk for about a week due to some business travel, family events, and community service commitments that had needed our energy. We were both feeling a little impatient, and our interactions reflected that. After finally being able to talk, get some rest, and work through what we’d been feeling, we gave each other a hug and each took a deep breath. Then I laughed a little and said, “It’s been a heavy construction day.” I think that perspective takes the pressure off both of us. We’re allowed to be human, and it’s okay if we’re still learning to handle all the challenges of life.
When we’re in the middle of something hard, it’s tempting to let our minds jump to the worst-case scenario. “I’ll never get this right. Why should I even try?” Or, “My life is always going to be a mess, and all this organizing is just a waste of my time.”
I feel that sometimes, too.
But I think that changing our expectations is the key. If we’re “architecting a life of excellence,” that means we are deliberately designing a life that reflects our values and goals. But in order to actually live that life, there has to be a time and a place for building.
So my hope for each member of the LearnDoBecome community is that you will continue to see a bright future, you’ll invest some time and energy learning simple systems, and you’ll maintain that courage to keep building.
We love you!!
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I love the idea of a “construction zone” – it takes away so much pressure, thank you!
So glad that was helpful to you, Christine! Keep up the great work!
Great insignts! I got married in the LA Temple, too. Yay for construction zones that turn into beautiful temples!
It’s such a beautiful place! So happy you were able to be married there, too! 🙂
Bring on the tissues! Holy cow. I needed this today. I’m sure that I’m neurodivergent and am so sure of this because I’ve been unable to get help and get an assessment done. haha
How interesting to hear today, your story of a construction zone for our lives.
As a business coach and trainer, I teach leaders how to be better versions of themselves so that they can be better leaders. I help teams to the same. I often use a closet metaphor. I always say that when we want to organize and clean out a closet, it’s a bit pile of mess and then we slowly but surely put everything back into place and the closet is organized. I say to them that learning a new skill is the same. However, once the closet is organized it’s done…but it’s not really. Leaders are always needing to keep up with learning how to be a good leader. The closet rarely “stays” clean for long.
I’m working hard on being more organized with “stuff.” It’s not easy. I’ve been with you for two years and I get a little ahead and then I fall back. I feel like I will always be in a construction zone because I find the constant micro-bursts to be a little exhausting and it feels a little bit like a hamster wheel, that I will never be able to get off of. Trying to figure out how to create joy in the never ending putting away of stuff, the never-ending micro-bursts, the never-ending laundry… dishes, etc…all while having three kids and my own business. The end result is not a strong enough motivator for me.
More self-discovery time for me – at 55, I know this is a constant! 🙂
Sounds like you are doing some amazing work! And I understand about the constant upkeep. It’s often hard to feel motivated when you’re never going to be “done.” The biggest thing that has helped me with that is focusing on the process instead of the product. If I see work with my family as relationship-building, or if I use my housework time to listen to music or audiobooks while getting some exercise, or if I let God “interview” me while doing the mundane things, then I feel like that time was well spent. Sending lots of love!
Your kind words are motivating. And like the ideas. I tell people these kinds of things all the time. I think I need to listen to my positive self!
Oh my goodness, April! I SO needed these words today! What a blessing. 💜💜💜
Never doubt the work that you have been called to do. It means the world that you pour your hearts out to us and that you share deeply. You have been gifted in so many ways… Thank you for giving us the tools that we need. The Spirit is working…in each of our construction zones.
God bless you guys!
This means so much! Thank you, Debbie!
Oh April, once again, your podcast is so perfect for me right now! Our big project has been to build an ADU – a one-bedroom small house in our back yard for my dad to move into, and began in June of 2022. After 20 months, we have an incomplete structure, roofed and enclosed, but not complete, and now surrounded by piles of wet cardboard boxes holding smaller pieces of trash from various subtasks, and gravel, and pavers, and a LOT of mud — I feel as though it will never be done. But of course, this all had to happen first, in order to get to the beautiful perfect-for-my-dad home; I’ve just gotten stuck in the slog of it all.
AND I have on my list of little things to do “Remind April that she is so loved by so many!”
So April — always remember, you make a huge difference in our lives, and you only know the top, like an iceberg. You are SO LOVED by so many!!
Kersti, this comment just made my day! Thank you for your kind words and support! And what a labor of love you are doing for your dad–that sounds like a huge project, and I’m praying that things will move forward more easily for you! xoxo
I wish I had listened to this podcast this morning instead of waiting until tonight. I had literally just shed mom guilt tears and then I hear April’s kind voice telling me another way to look at my situation. It is a major construction zone in our oldest son’s school/grades, another in our business and I started yet another business that is in the beginning stages. I feel so much better, thank you!!!!🙏❤️
It takes a lot of courage to do all you are doing, Amanda! So proud of you!