[PODCAST 226]: How to Quickly Adjust Your Lists (and Relieve Your Mind!) When There’s a Bump in the Road

What do you do when you have a lot on your plate, but then there is some kind of hiccup?

Some common solutions include the following:

• I push myself harder and get stressed out.
• I give up and just check out until things calm down

But what if there were a way to move forward without stressing out OR giving up?

We’re diving into that topic today, and I strongly believe this podcast will change your life for the better.

And at the end, I’ll share some totally free ways you can get started creating a system that will take you out of the overwhelm for good!

I’ll start with a brief personal story:

My husband and I recently took our daughter skiing, and it was a gorgeous day we had been anticipating for weeks.

But at one point, I started skiing too fast (I wanted to see this cute porcupine that was crossing the run), and I ended up breaking my shoulder.

It’s not that big of a deal, I don’t need surgery, and I will likely be healed in a few weeks, but it definitely threw a kink into our plans. Eric, our children, and our neighbors and friends, are now helping me with everything from opening jars to putting my hair up in a ponytail, and I’ve had to slow down a lot.

You might not have a broken shoulder, but you know what it’s like when something unexpected happens and you have to slow down.

Because I had been feeling so healthy prior to this accident, I had put a lot of responsibilities  on my plate—particularly in our business—and when I thought about trying to do all those things—in addition to managing the pain and the doctor appointments and the new routines around the house for our family, I started feeling pretty stressed.

Fortunately, I have handled things like this badly enough times in the past that I have learned from my mistakes.  So today I want to walk through a few things that I’m doing now—and that you can do, as well—to make any hiccup, accident, or frustration feel a whole lot better.

1–There is a big difference between doing the most important things and doing EVERYTHING.

Common logic out there is that if we are REALLY committed or REALLY talented, we will push through and show everyone how strong we are. How many motivational speakers have you heard say things like this? “Keep going. Work through the pain. Don’t rest. Don’t get soft. The goal is worth your blood, sweat, and tears.”

And I think there is a lot of value in persevering when life gets hard, but I feel much better when I move at a sustainable pace and trust that God will help me know what is most essential.

April from the past would have said, No! I must do it all. I must maintain my schedule and never let anyone down and prove how committed and valuable I am.

April right now says, “Some things are most important and some things are less important. I’m going to focus on what—and more importantly, who–needs my love and energy.”

2–Learning the art of renegotiating with ourselves (and others) will change the game.

David Allen, author of Getting Things Done® taught me the concept of renegotiating. This basically means that we can reduce our mental or physical load so we don’t become overwhelmed.

Sometimes that means we reschedule appointments. Sometimes we say no to an activity or a project that we no longer have the bandwidth to do. Sometimes we simplify expectations. I’ll give more examples in a moment, but here’s an analogy that has been helpful to me and many others in my community.

Instead of thinking about our task list like a conveyor belt at the grocery store–or the one in the famous “I Love Lucy” episode, where the chocolates kept coming faster and faster, let’s think of it like the baggage claim at the airport. If we miss our bag, it will come around again! And we get to decide how much baggage we’ll accept.

Renegotiating isn’t “failing” or “procrastinating.” It’s a very real, valid method to help our minds feel calm.

3–There are some simple, specific things we can do with our lists that will bring quick relief and set us up for long-term success.

Simplify our Current Projects

The biggest project I am working on at LearnDoBecome right now is a revamp of our STEP program. We filmed brand new videos, and I’m making each page visually and logically simpler. I’m super excited about it. But because I need more rest right now, I can make the outcome for this month a little smaller. Instead of “Finish STEP Revamp,” I can say, “Complete the written parts for each page of the program.” And if that doesn’t get done, it’s okay, I’ll just need to evaluate my month, see if I can handle the project in a different way, and set more realistic goals moving forward.

Delaying “extra” projects until next month is also totally fine. If a project is a matter of life or death, then yes–I will figure out a way to delegate or get extra help. But most projects are not a matter of life or death, and when we take the pressure off ourselves, it makes us actually enjoy our lives!

Streamline our Routines

I have a lot of regular routines for my personal, family, and business life, and I try to be as consistent as possible, but most routines can also be renegotiated.

For example…

• I love recording YouTube videos for our channel, but I may need to put these on hold for awhile while I recover.
• I also love our podcast, but that can go on hold as well.
• Eric and I typically exercise together–in our basement or at the local rec center, but for now, we’re just going on a few daily walks.
• I’m also usually very engaged with our church community, but some of those in-person visits can temporarily become texts or calls.
• Our home can be a little messier, as well. It’s okay if there’s a little more dust or if the floors aren’t mopped as often or if the fridge is cleaned less often. I can coordinate more help from my family or hire help, if desired, but it’s not failing if things aren’t as clean as I’d like them.
• Meals can also be simpler. I’ve been batch-preparing super simple healthy meals, and even though they’re a little boring, that’s fine for now. Fancier cooking can wait.

Edit the Calendar

One of the things we teach in our STEP program (Steps to Everyday Productivity) is to keep our calendars simple–like an open canvas. This doesn’t mean we don’t do anything–it just means that we don’t over-extend ourselves. We work from flexible lists like our Next Actions List or our Routines List instead of calendaring everything. This has actually been a huge blessing for me. After I broke my shoulder, I was able to quickly review my calendar, cancel a few appointments, and then give my body a chance to rest.

Before I close, here are two common questions you may be asking right now:

1–But what if my life won’t let me slow down?

Most people who come to LearnDoBecome are in a variety of supportive roles. You may have children or aging parents or work that impacts a lot of other people. It may feel like slowing down or “renegotiating” isn’t possible.

I don’t pretend to understand your situation, but I will share some big mistakes that I made MANY times in the past:

• I didn’t ask for help.
• I let strong personalities control me.
• I worked myself sick in an effort to please.

Do with that what you will, but if I could go back and talk with my younger self, I would tell her that running faster and faster isn’t the answer.

2–But what if renegotiating or slowing down means I don’t reach all my goals? What if I become insignificant?

It took a lot of years for me to even notice that this question was subconsciously in the back of my mind, so I want to share what I’ve learned:

If your goals are centered around sustaining life (paying basic bills, feeding and clothing your family, etc.), then those fall into the category of what is most important. No one is suggesting you stop doing those things.

Too often, however, we push ourselves out of fear that is entirely self-created. Our identity becomes wrapped up in how successful we look from the outside and how we compare with our peers. That kind of work has never satisfied me and only led to more regret.

For those here who believe in a Higher Power, I will share the key question that has calmed my mind. Whenever I wake up nervous in the middle of the night or start feeling afraid that I’m not doing enough, I simply ask God, “What do YOU want me to know right now?” And the answer I receive is always full of love and hope. There’s no panic or rushing required when I’m following my God.

I sat down today to record this as a way of “renegotiating” with myself. I don’t like to drop things, and I want others to understand why I sometimes need to take a break (not that I have to have a “good reason”).  🙂

But I send you my love, and I’ll be back as soon as I can, but I am going to go heal and spend time with my people, and I will be back when it makes sense!

Sustainable, joyful, meaningful work is a beautiful thing. And living a life where we prioritize our Higher Power, our health, and our loved ones makes that life even more beautiful!

It is my hope and prayer that our culture, as a whole, can move in this direction.

Thanks for being here with us at LearnDoBecome!

Now, we have a special gift for you! If you’d like to learn more about our STEP program–so you can simplify your calendar, projects, and routines (and everything on your plate), click the link ibelow, and we’ll get you started! So happy you are with us!

Click here to start STEPping for free!

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