Before I get started today, I want to highlight a couple of LearnDoBecome community members who are doing such an amazing job! We call these “STEP Wins” because they’re members of our Steps to Everyday Productivity program. 🙂
This first one is from Judy:
”I’ve been doing STEP for about a week now…. I had really hit bottom when it came to being disorganized and dissatisfied with how my life was unfolding. I have so much to be grateful for but the PAPERS and PILES were just eating at me all the time. I wanted to share that even though I’ve only just begun, the clarity of mind and the ability to actually accomplish so many things this week is blowing me away. So far the most valuable parts are the CBNAL (Context-Based Next Actions List) and the concept of 10-minute microbursts. Instead of looking at my clock and saying, “I only have 10 minutes before I have to leave, so I might as well just scroll through my phone…” I ask myself, “What can I accomplish In 10 minutes?” and then I go do it. I’m knocking off tasks left and right and my brain feels so much clearer. I’ve also done a brain dump of all the projects I had spinning around in my mind, and those are on a white board now, unsorted but categorized as to which of us is responsible for it. If this is all I get from this program (and it definitely won’t be) it’s already been worth it.”
And this one is from Kathleen:
Aren’t those inspiring? I just love hearing the positivity, excitement, and encouragement that comes from our members–and whether you are in our programs or currently checking out the free resources on the site, you can do this, too!
As a little side note, I’m glad to be back with you on the podcast! My broken shoulder has been healing for several weeks, and I just started physical therapy, so things are looking up!
All right, let’s dive into today’s discussion about motivation.
Do you ever experience a constant, perhaps low-grade stress behind the scenes as you’re working to transform your life? But would you prefer to feel light and happy while you’re moving forward on the things that matter most?
Today I’m sharing a little of what’s been going on behind the scenes over the past few years, and I hope that the lessons I’ve learned along the way will be valuable to you.
Whether we’re focused mostly on “getting organized,” or we’re feeling stress around something like parenting, health issues, finances, or relationships, it’s normal not to have everything figured out at the beginning. However, even a slight shift in what motivates us can make a big difference.
In one sentence, here’s what’s changed for me: I used to be motivated mostly by fear–then I became motivated mostly by duty–and now, after several years of reaping the consequences of living like that–and finally doing the personal work to change things, I truly feel motivated by love.
This might sound strange to you, and it’s a little uncomfortable for me to share my weaknesses so publicly. But I’ve been around long enough that I know I’m not alone when I struggle, so today’s podcast is for those of you who might struggle like me.
And while I’m still trying to lock in the “motivated by love” feeling in every area of my life, today I’m focusing on my professional work–specifically building the STEP program here at LearnDoBecome.
Motivated by Fear
Back in 2015, when Eric and I started LearnDoBecome, we were in a bit of a tricky spot. The 2008 recession had hit us hard, and we were still figuring out how to balance a variety of work-from home jobs, four active children, and some time-intensive responsibilities in our church and community. The city we lived in was at least an hour away from the larger hubs for employment, and I worried that if LearnDoBecome wasn’t a success, Eric would need to commute hours a day to a job he didn’t like–and then our family life would become increasingly difficult.
As I recently spoke with Eric about all the worries I had back then, he was surprised. He was working right alongside me–putting in even more hours on the business than I was–and he understood that we had some decisions to make and some work to do, but he didn’t have the same stress that I had bottled up inside me. In hindsight, I would have told him how stressed I was feeling, but instead, I just worked a lot…out of fear…trying to build the STEP program and take care of our LearnDoBecome community as well as I could.
It’s actually hard for me to say this because I don’t want to imply that I didn’t care about those who joined us during the early years or that I wasn’t passionate about my work. I LOVE what we have created here. It’s just that there were a lot of other factors going on behind the scenes, and I was so, so scared I was going to fail.
Motivated by Duty
The happy news is that, with all that work and effort, LearnDoBecome did turn into our full-time employment. We’ve had nine beautiful years so far, and in my daily prayers, I continually thank the Lord for our wonderful team and community–and for the work we get to do.
But some of the middle years were a little rough.
As our community grew, things became more complex. Our team has had to work with things like email deliverability issues, tech platforms occasionally going down, and often-big decisions that need to be made in this constantly-shifting online landscape.
In fact, the last time we updated our STEP program, it was because the business that created the platform we had used to initially build it went out of business, so they weren’t going to do any further updates–like making it mobile-friendly or giving people the chance to check off lessons and mark their progress. It was a little clunky and difficult to use.
Because I was motivated by duty–and the desire to keep things running smoothly–I spent months recording new videos, figuring out a better platform (that we still use and love today), and working with our team to create a brand new version of STEP. It turned out well and was definitely a worthwhile project, but it was a project we did because we had to do it–not necessarily because we wanted to do it. Have you been there?
Motivated by Love
Over the past few years, the fear and sense of duty inspired me to do a lot of work. I’m guessing you can relate! In fact, right now, there may be several things that you’re doing out of fear or duty…probably very well. And maybe you’re handling it just fine and thinking, “April, why are you such a delicate flower?” But there came a point for me (that I’ve spoken about on previous podcasts), that my body finally “said no.”
I feel like I need several episodes to dive deep into what was happening and how I solved it, but as a quick summary, I got so stressed that I was regularly covered in rashes and could no longer digest my food properly. This led to months in bed each year with one illness or another. I kept working from my bed–because I didn’t know the stress was the problem, but when I finally started figuring it out, I made some big changes–slowing my work hours significantly, carefully focusing my energy, and deciding that I was not going to make decisions based simply on my deep desire to please others.
As I have mostly healed from my “achievement addiction,” physical burnout, and people pleasing, my rashes have gone away, I am enjoying my relationships and my work more than ever, and I feel like my creativity and spark have come back. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s gone until you get that wake-up call.
And the reason this all matters to you is because one of the main projects I am currently working on is our third official version of STEP.
I’m not doing it because of fear or duty–but because I genuinely want to create a streamlined, simplified version of the program–one that is built with the love I truly feel for our community.
Because we’ve had so many tens of thousands of people join us in STEP, we know where the issues are. Yes, we get testimonials every day sharing awesome successes, and the current program works–but we also know its weak points.
For example, we know people will get stuck at the beginning because they struggle to get their emails to zero–and even though the program specifically tells them to skip that part if it requires more time, too many people just stop because they want to do the program “perfectly.” In fact, pretty much every time we’re contacted with an issue about the program, our team says to each other, “The Revamp will solve this!”
So, as a little side note, for those of you already inside STEP, the revamp is coming–and all the changes will be given to you inside your members’ area! (We won’t delete the current version, in case you’re still working through it, though!)
And for those of you who have been thinking about joining STEP, I hope you will finally take the leap! The program revamp is almost finished, as I’m recording this podcast, and I am so excited for you to experience it!
A Few Closing Thoughts
Although each of us has a unique life experience, this fear-duty-love trio of motivators actually seems pretty common. I just wanted to share my story in case you wanted to look at your current motivations and make a shift, if one is needed.
There’s a lot going on behind the scenes for all of us–and I want to make sure you know you’re not alone. We’re all Becomers here, and I love that we can be a strength for one another.
Sending a huge hug! And watch out for more announcements about the newest version of STEP!
xoxo
April
And before I close, I want to highlight two more STEPpers:
Links to share with friends!
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Enjoy the LearnDoBecome Directory here!
Our “Create Your Year” Podcast Series and Bonus Templates
Steps to Everyday Productivity (STEP) Program
Our ARISE membership – an amazing gathering place for community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. We focus on a new topic each month, and this is an amazing opportunity to receive coaching and support from Team LearnDoBecome. You can sign up for a free, 7-day trial here.
I was having a hard moment and I wanted a lift. I turned on this podcast and your cheerfulness helped. When I got to the end and you began laughing, it was contagious and I was soon smiling and laughing too! Thank you for bringing sunshine to my day. ☺️
Hope your day kept getting better and better! Glad we were able to laugh together. 🙂 I considered deleting that whole ending, but I figured it’s good for all of us to be able to laugh a little. So grateful for you!!
Thankyou for sharing and trusting us with your honesty. Im so glad you kept going. And are continuing.your work is a great blessing
God bless, Camille
You’re so kind. Thank you Camille!!
I loved this April! 💕 I think it’s human nature to go from fear to duty to love. I want to try to shift more towards having love be my motivation. With my piano students it’s easy. I don’t have to teach. I choose to do it because I love them and want to help them learn and grow. With housework, that’s an entirely different situation. I definitely do it out of duty and guilt and sometimes resentment. How would my life change if instead I wiped my counters or swept my floors out of love? So much to ponder and think about:) And I agree. It was fun to hear your laughter at the end. Here’s a big virtual hug for you.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Juventa! Just acknowledging the fear/duty motivation is a huge step, I think! I just spoke with my health coach about how I’d been motivated by fear for the first couple of months in this program. Fear that some of my health issues would never go away or I wouldn’t do this “perfectly,” etc. Just saying that helped me to see that I have the power to change that. There’s sometimes a lot behind the scenes we need to work out in order to make the shift, but I’m excited for you!
I separated from my husband of 25 years 17 days ago, and moved from an huge house into a comparatively small apartment. (I’ve never actually been on my own before, but I AM LOVING IT.) My whole apartment, except one room, is all put together and functional. Thank God for friends & family who helped me move, and that one room that has a door I can close!
I realized, as a read your podcast transcript, that while I had been living my life from a place of love for all of those years, my home life had been driven mostly by fear and duty. Those words helped me delineate a stressful mindset that I had adopted that left me feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about tackling that room.
That room, I wish I could send pictures, is at 100% capacity, storage. It’s holiday decorations, a ton of sewing and craft supplies, supplies from a home-based business that I’m no longer doing, precious keepsakes, and a lot of miscellaneous. That storage room is actually my guest bedroom, where my grandchildren and out-town-family will stay when they come to visit me – so I can clearly see that clearing it out IS truly an act of love!
This clarification has inspired motivation and reduced my stress, so thank you!
Denise, you have had quite the journey! Thank you for sharing how you have been growing. It sounds like you have a lot of people supporting you during this time, which says so much about you! I can’t wait to hear how things go with your storage room! No doubt you will transform it into a beautiful, relaxing space where your family can come stay. How wonderful that will be! YES–totally inspired by love. Keep up the great work! (I’m sure there’s also a lot of healing that will be going on behind the scenes, and it’s normal for emotions to come up during all of this.) We’re cheering you on!
Thank you April! You read me like a book.
I can’t believe I forgot to mention my Command Central… I’ve got that set up and ready to roll!
(I’m pretty linear in my thinking, and I love the step by step directions that you offer for guidance.)
🥳🥳🥳
I just have to say – I LOVE your laugh! I’m always delighted to hear it! 😊 Your little giggle fit at the end of this podcast was delightful!! 😂
Dear April,
thank you for this special episode. I can relate to the different and questionable former motivations… However, when you introduced the concept, before mentioning the 3rd source of motivation I was wondering what it would be. I somehow expected it to be joy, not love I realized. Joy in the sense of deep happiness, contentment, a very warm and positive feeling of things being right… I am just curious what you think, maybe both even go together very well? Yours Christine
PS: All the best for your shoulder!
I love that, Christine! I think we each associate different feelings with the same word, so finding a word that represents that happiness and contentment to us is a fantastic idea. ❤️
Thanks for sharing and for your kind words!
Thank you April! Yes, I like the idea too of us finding a word that resonates!
April! Oh my goodness, you made me smile. I will always accept and sincerely appreciate hugs. Thank you for sharing your heart. I found myself listening and realizing I think of you as a friend. Grateful that you are so open honest with us. Someday, who knows, we might have an opportunity to meet and get a real in-person hug. A LDB gathering perhaps? 😊 So glad you are healing well. I had a torn rotator cuff last year so I will pray for you during your PT season. God bless you my friend. Appreciate you and the team more than you know.
Blessings,
Debbie V
That means so much! Thank you, Debbie! And yes, I do hope one day I can give you a REAL hug! So glad we are friends!!
Hi, April!
Thank you for this podcast. I read it rather than listen, but even though I didn’t get to hear your laughter at the end, I could hear in my mind since I have listened to other podcasts!
I have been motivated by fear…a lot. Duty has also been motivating me the last couple of years. I knew there was a problem when all I had to do was “think” about something that needed to be done, and felt a little panicked and short of breath. I am ready to be motivated by love. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to say it.
I am in the program, but not far along. I have watched the first video so many times because I get interrupted! But, I am getting those 10 minute microbursts down and I have my folders-yay! I put my most pressing project on my calendar for spring break, and have notified all my family and clients that I am taking that week off from regular work.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this program!
Lela, I’m so proud of you for working on those microbursts and prioritizing your most important projects! That is HUGE! And I totally get it when just thinking about something makes you feel panicked. That happens to me sometimes, too, but I’m learning that when I feel stressed about something, I just need to do a little more searching to figure out what’s actually going on behind the scenes that I could change/adjust. Sending lots of love! Thanks for your kind words!
What a beautiful podcast, thank you!
I struggled to find a “word of the year” for 2024 and found myself coming back to “enough” again and again, even though that word felt more like a challenge and less like a word to rest on (like previous years, ex “rhythm”)… But listening to this podcast I can see that when I’ve been driven by fear or duty (or both) those are the days when I come to the end feeling like I can’t and haven’t done “enough”. There’s always more I should have done, and that’s been a heavy burden.
I can envision that if I’m moving through a day motivated by love, that doesn’t feel like the same burden. Will I love “enough”? Probably not, but it’s more like all those kids books with
“Mamma, how much do you love me?”
“More than I can say, more than I can do…” That’s not a burden, that’s more like the joy Christine mentioned above. It’s easier to rest in “that’s enough for today, I’ll find ways to show love again tomorrow.”
Bonus, is if I can remember that I am loved and what I am able to do today is enough.
Thanks for prompting all these thoughts!
Natalie, THANK YOU for sharing these lovely thought processes! I have been there so many times–feeling like I’m chasing this “enough-ness” that I can never quite reach.
One thought that has helped me is from TEAM-CBT. The founder/author, Dr. David Burns asks us to do a positive reframe and identify what appeals to us about holding onto the inadequate feelings of not being enough. For me, it shows I don’t think I’m “finished,” it shows I’m striving for more, it shows I’m humble and that I acknowledge my weaknesses, etc. I’m guessing you might have some similar thoughts.
But those things are core values, so our brains don’t want to “let go” and say, “Yes! I’m enough!” Instead, we can learn to dial down those thoughts, so we still have them, but they don’t cause pain, depression, anxiety, etc. For example, I could say, “I haven’t done everything my heart wants to do, but I’ve had a good day and contributed in a lot of great ways. Now I’m going to go rest and relax for awhile.”
Anyway, not sure if that’s helpful to you, but it’s been really healing for me to be able to give myself grace and not beat myself up for not doing more. Sending lots of love!
Ok – laughing is contagious. Emotional contagion is a real thing and I love that you ended that way and didn’t edit it out.
Second, I’m living in fear and duty right now. I was laid off in July and have a duty to take care of my family, financially. You see, I was the main bread winner. Fear is from having no income. It means putting what I love on hold. I’m trying hard to put the right thoughts into the universe but it’s challenging. I’m good at my work but not so good a selling myself. So, I take it one day at a time. Foucs on the things I can control. Do something small every day that support what I really want to do. I’m trying to do my business AND look for a paid job. I hope my business goes a bit faster and that I won’t need that “regular” job.
Thanks, April for the “fireside chats.” They bring me hope.
Thank you for sharing this—and for being such a support to your family! Balancing a job and growing a business at the same time isn’t for the faint of heart! It is also a huge learning opportunity, and I’m confident you’re going to come out stronger! One thing that really helped us on the business side was to put all the “nice to haves” on hold while we concentrated all our effort on the things that would actually generate income. For the first couple of years, I did very few podcasts and hardly any social media, but we built our program, learned to run ads to our webinar, and learned how to serve our members. Sending lots of encouragement your way!!
I SO benefited from this podcast. There are some work-related things in my life that I resist and sometimes resent. Your clarity of the triad of duty, fear and love really straightened my mind out and has offered me some great options.
I have benefited immensely from this program and I love your podcasts for the same reason. There’s always a new layer to reveal.
And I love your hugs and laughter.
Thank you for such a brilliant program. It truly has set me free
Oh, this made my day! Thank you, Vicki!! Keep up the great work!