Have you ever played the game Chutes and Ladders (or Snakes and Ladders)–and had to take the longest slide down, when you were almost at the end?
Or have you almost reached King Candy at the end of Candyland, and then you got the little gingerbread guy, and you had to go all the way back to the beginning?
We help people to get organized here at LearnDoBecome, but we often hear things like this, “I was doing so well, and then ‘life’ got in the way!”
I completely understand–I go through setbacks and frustrations a lot, as well (because I’m a human, too!), but my goal with today’s podcast is to emphasize the idea that the whole point of creating systems and getting organized is so when something unexpected DOES come up, you can quickly adjust, take a pause, and address whatever needs your attention, but you won’t have to slide all the way back to the beginning and start from scratch.
Let’s walk through a few ideas–inspired by our LearnDoBecome community members who participated in a GREAT discussion inside our organization program–and my promise is that you’ll feel more optimistic about what’s possible for you and more committed to setting up the systems that you need in your life.
I want to start by sharing 3 benefits to having your systems in place when “life gets in the way”.
And when I say “system” I’m referring to the STEP Command Central we talk about all the time here at LearnDoBecome. More details can be found in the “Related Links” section below, but essentially, these are daily, weekly, and as needed items that work together as a system–kind of like how all the parts of the car work together so you can drive.
(1) When you have systems in place, you can move forward on what makes sense–even when you’re not feeling 100%.
Some of our community members have chronic illnesses, some are undergoing cancer treatments, most have had colds, flus, injuries, trauma, grief, or loss.
Here are some practical ways we can keep going during difficult times:
- Current Projects can move to “Next in Line” or “Someday” and you can quickly communicate with people who are expecting things from you so they know there will be a delay.
- You can relax and JUST check your calendar–which will have the absolute deadlines (bills and things like that), so you won’t need to worry about a costly error while you’re recovering.
- There may be low-energy tasks on your Next Actions List or a Someday List that you can finally do when you’re not feeling great. We don’t have to be “productive” when we’re sick, but there are often minor tasks that we don’t do when we feel healthy and strong because we want to prioritize the “bigger” stuff. Keeping optional lower-energy things (for me, those are things like sorting old papers, cleaning up my digital photos, going through my mom’s box of journals, etc.) can help us feel a sense of purpose and progress, even during rough patches.
(2) When you have your systems in place, you can simplify, but still do what’s most important.
Just like I mentioned earlier how you can JUST check your calendar, you can also do the bare minimum when you don’t have the time or energy to do what you’d REALLY like to do.
For example, we encourage our community members to create a Routines List. This is awesome, with daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly routines. But there’s a wide range of acceptable actions that can “check the box” for most routines.
- Walking Sunny, our dog (If I don’t have the energy, I can just take her outside and play with her toys/let her run for a few minutes.)
- Meal preparation (A community member shared, “meal making may be more time intensive recipes in one season and more ‘throw it in the slow cooker and go’ or even grab some deli meat, cheese, and cherry tomatoes and call it ‘done.’ But either way…we’ve got to eat!”)
- Weekly Review (I usually like to thoroughly process the inbox, but sometimes I just peek through everything and pull out the urgent things–leaving the rest for the following week.)
(3) When you have your systems in place, you have more confidence because you always know you can go back to the tools you’ve learned to use.
At the beginning, this is definitely tricky because if you’ve never consistently used a calendar, a Next Actions List, a Routines List, and a Current Projects List, for example, when a crisis hits, those are not automatic in your life. Our community members agree that it’s easy to fall back on old coping mechanisms and habits.
But as you LEARN, even just a little bit (hopefully by listening to our podcasts or watching our YouTube videos), you may feel like this community member who said, “I will never start from ‘0’ again! I will have internalized the tools AND I have the confidence that I’ve done it once—I know how it do it again! For me, I had emails to 0, and though my inbox is not currently at 0, I know I can knock that out again. I am so happy about these tools that I’ve learned so far! That confidence helps me get back into it easily, knowing it has ALREADY helped me so much. I don’t have to feel overwhelmed. I feel confident instead, and that translates to action after ‘life happenings.'”
I love that.
Let me share a very specific example about projects. Earlier, I mentioned that Current Projects could go into “Next in Line” or “Someday” categories. This is honestly one of the fastest ways to give ourselves a mental lift.
Sometimes we hear things like, “My projects list is growing far faster than I am crossing things off.”
This can often be frustrating because we want to get things done quickly, and no one likes a project to drag on and on.
But having a tiered projects list is an amazing tool that can give us relief because it’s a visual way to see what we are expecting of ourselves.
Let’s say that this month, you have 7 projects you think you can complete.
Then you get 3 unexpected new ones, and you’re so busy dealing with those that the other 7 don’t even get touched. By the end of the month, you have 10 incomplete projects, and that feels lousy.
But, if when you get the 3 new ones, you can take 3 of the previous 7 and move them to Next in Line or Someday, now you still have a doable list of projects. You’ve just broadened the time horizon for the completion of the previous ones. And if a project takes longer than you hoped, you can keep it on your list for the following month (or get extra help–or slow things down in other areas so you can put more energy toward those important projects).
I love renegotiating with myself and actually being wise with how much I expect of myself. There are some occasions where deadlines are firm, but in general, we have a lot more control than we think.
A community reminder to celebrate the “wins”:
“My dining table was overflowing AGAIN and I was so frustrated but last night I set my timer for 15 minutes and got a good chunk of it cleared. I made my bed again this morning. I’ve got these tiny things going for me and I just keep telling myself that it will grow If I just don’t quit! And somehow, this is giving me the confidence to take on a class for fitness instructor training that I never ever intended or thought I would be doing! So SOMETHING’S working/shifting in my brain!
“No matter where you are in this process, FORGIVE YOURSELF and pat yourself on the back. We spend so much time criticizing ourselves. Be proud and excited you’re here learning. It has taken me 2 years to really dig in. I wasn’t ready before. I’m ready now. And when you’re ready you will schedule the time you will make the files, etc! 1 file is progress. An Inbox is progress. Be proud you even want to do this. Be gentle with yourself.”
Another message from a community member:
“For me, ‘Life gets in the way, moments’ are bridges to how I ‘used’ to navigate daily life. In moments of overwhelm, I ‘used’ to shut down and do nothing while piles got bigger and I got more and more behind. My other go to was the ‘All or Nothing’ mentality. Seeking perfection, which is impossible, and then when I failed, feeling utterly defeated. Giving myself grace and remembering that I’ve had my ‘Go To’s’ longer than I’ve had these resources helps me to be patient with myself and if I take the bridge to my old habits, remembering that placing guilt on top of everything else is NEVER helpful. Inch by inch, life’s a cinch!”
We hope that these ideas are helpful for you, and we hope you feel encouraged on those days you’re not feeling 100%.
Sending so much love!
Related Links!
Video: Customize the Way You Organize
Video: “I Can’t Make Myself Do the Things On My List”
LearnDoBecome YouTube Channel!
Our ARISE membership – an amazing gathering place for community members that are using their Command Centrals to refine relationships, health, finances, individual purpose, and more. We focus on a new topic each month, and this is an amazing opportunity to receive coaching and support from Team LearnDoBecome. You can sign up for a free, 60-day trial here.
Margaret says
April & Eric- Thank you so much for these reminders. I really needed this today as yesterday we learned of the loss of my nephew’s unborn baby girl at 7 months. 😢 I have been so unmotivated to work on my projects. But I go about my routines without having to even think about them. Especially thank you for the reminder to give myself grace (again!) when my old habits of “all or nothing” thinking resurface. So grateful for LDB.
In thanks,
Margaret
April Perry says
Margaret, we are so sorry for the loss of your nephew’s baby. That is such a hard thing to go through, and it makes total sense not to be motivated to work on projects when you’re mourning. I think it’s evidence that you know what kinds of things are most important in life. Sending lots of love as you support your family and take care of yourself. xoxo
Margaret says
April, your response means so much. Family is most important to me, and I’ve always appreciated your emphasis on family. Thank you for your kindness.
Tammy H. says
At 77 yrs old, I have just been diagnosed with ADHD! Thanks to your step program, I have already conquered the most important part of organization, to “work around” my problem of focusing. I have not conquered it all, but all my paper problems are finally gone as far as being buried in papers, not finding things because of it, etc. Now all my papers are vertical and not “inviting” other papers to the pile! Huge step! Also they are in folders labeled as simply as possible, and therefore have a home! Not so good at working on the projects and routines yet, but working on it every day. Sorting and Prioritizing is still hard for me because of this ADHD, but there is always SOME way to do it, its a matter of finding that way! I am so glad I was able to discover what my problem was and now the challenge (but kind of fun, too) of finding how to get around my problem tendencies to a richer more full life! After years of depression, I can finally see the positive side of life!
Thank you so much for your help, which I am still feeding on!!! Still learning!
Tammy
April Perry says
This is so inspiring!! We are thrilled for you, Tammy! Please keep us updated on your success. We are cheering you on!
Roberta Reed says
This provided the encouragement & refocus I needed today, grace included 💝
Please understand how much this matters!
My heartfelt thanks,
Roberta
April Perry says
Sending lots of love, Roberta!
Robtta says
Thank you for your continued heart (and so much more) investment in this community, April and Eric
April Perry says
It is a privilege to get to be here with you!! Thank you!