Today’s podcast is a little bit different than those we’ve published in the past. I was recently interviewed by Jessica Jackson from the Thriving in Motherhood podcast, and although LearnDoBecome.com isn’t a site “just for moms,” we talked about some really important concepts that I believe can be helpful for everyone.
Are you working to build stronger relationships in your home? Do you wonder how housework fits in with that? What about routine-building? Deciding how to engage with others on social media? Making time to really take care of ourselves while also putting our family members as our top priority? (Click “play” above to listen!)
A Few Key Points from the Podcast
Sometimes we don’t pause long enough to realize there are some tricky things going on behind the scenes. (The morning I recorded this podcast, I’d been going through some of my own a-ha moments and had a pretty good “cry session” with Eric…..)
When you’re raising children, it’s easy to put your own sanity, health and safety on hold because someone else’s life literally depends on you. That’s a pressure we don’t often acknowledge, but when we learn how to care for ourselves and maintain a solid perspective on this, it makes a big difference–the earlier in life the better.
And what about clutter? We talk a LOT about clearing it from our homes, but it is just as essential that we learn to clear the clutter from our minds and our hearts, so we have the space to thrive.
Sometimes it’s okay to go a day, a week, or even a month in survival mode. You’re okay; you’ve simply put things on hold….
But too often, we lose our light or our spark or our enthusiasm for life because we get so weighed down by everyone and everything that needs us.
Jessica and I addressed some pretty heavy topics in the discussion, but we also identified a few ways we can take care of ourselves and be more deliberate about the feeling we create in our homes:
- Do housework side-by-side with our children. It may go against our natural inclination to simply “get the housework done,” but as we do, we will find beauty in our relationships and in that often-mundane work. (This works with teens, too!)
- Look for small ways to put relationships first. Do you miss having people in your life? As we think creatively, we can identify ways to have more conversations and visits with family and friends. At the end of the day, building relationships gives us more sense of value than having our hair look just right, fitting into a certain size of clothes, or reaching lots of people on social media.
- Take time for self-care. Scream Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel changed the way I looked at loving myself and loving my children. Taking care of ourselves gives us the stamina to get through the ups and downs of each day, without having a total breakdown. Some ways I care for myself include prioritizing my bedtime, exercising, taking a shower, drinking water, and eating well. (You can find my full list of ways I care for myself here.) And you can ask my husband and children to tell you how I often forget to do these things. 🙂
- Value the moments we have with those we love, even if they don’t seem “worthy” for social media. One evening, my 17-year-old daughter came into my room and snuggled with me and our dog, Sunny. I’d been thinking about a few things that hadn’t gone well that day and felt a little down. As we snuggled, she said, “Mom, I don’t think life gets better than this.” That was a wake-up call…. It is so easy to forget that the PEOPLE in our lives matter most. But really, we all inherently know that.
We hope this podcast will be helpful for you today!
Related Resources
Some books we talked about:
- Thursdays with Zoe (I wrote this for my mom…she knew how to focus on the feeling in the home, and I share some fun stories!)
- *Scream Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel (so good!!)
- Podcast Episode 32–Getting a Whole Day to Yourself! If you ever feel like you spend most of your time running around and putting out fires, it probably sounds HEAVENLY to have one day a week (or even part of a day) to regroup, refocus, and recommit to architecting a life of excellence.
- Have you had a chance to take our free class to help you get out of clutter and organize your mind?
- If you’re a mother, come get a free audio and assessment at my other website, Power of Moms!
And you can find more from Jessica, at Thriving in Motherhood here!
***This page includes affiliate links. Please read our disclosure for more info.
April and Jessica I so enjoyed this time you shared with us in this podcast. It truly deserves sharing with the whole world. God Bless you both!
Debi in California
So glad to hear this was helpful for you, Debi! Thank you for being here with us!
Hi April,
I normally do not post comments, but I felt compelled to today. I loved your suggestion about working with your kids, even though it made me sad because I have teenagers (2 girls, 18 & 16) and I didn’t get to do that with them early enough.
Just this morning we were getting ready to continue a road trip to visit my FIL. We stayed at friend’s house on the way. My daughters stayed on an air mattress and we woke them up, so they could continue sleeping in the car. My older daughter was sitting next to the bed on her phone, while I was folding the sheets and mattress so we could leave. She was mad because I was taking too long. Then I was mad because she didn’t offer to help.
While listening to the podcast I realized that I allowed that to happen! I do so much for them and take it as part of being a mom.
Don’t get me wrong, my daughter and I have a great relationship, we talk about everything. But the house work has always been on me, this is how my mom was and is now with me and my adult siblings. She still comes to my house and prefers to clean and cook while staying on the sidelines.
So my take away is that I can still get my kids to help me with other house things and start involving them to get them to put the phones down and create a stronger relationship with me.
I could go on and on, but I just wanted you to know that this was very inspiring and even made me cry and think of what I can do in the future. You did accomplish your goal of helping other moms. Thank you so much!!
God bless,
Alina
Alina, I just wanted to send a huge hug–and remind you that it is NEVER too late to start. Each of us learns new things every day, and while I wish I had known EVERYTHING from the beginning, it doesn’t always work that way. 🙂 The fact that you are here and that you care so much about your family speaks volumes. I am confident that you are doing tremendous work and that things will just keep getting better. Sending lots of love!!!
I can’t tell you how much I loved this episode! I would love to hear more of this kind of stuff in the future if you ever need more ideas. 😉 it was great to hear some core, sound parenting philosophies. They were ones I’ve never put to words and have helped changed the direction of my parenting just in the few weeks since I’ve heard it! I’ve passed it on several times. Thanks for making such a big impact in my parenting!
Kristyn, thank you! Thank you for taking the time to listen and to comment here. If you liked this, you will love what is offered over at PowerOfMoms.com! April is one of the founders there and similar thoughts are shared often! Wishing you all the best!!
Thank you for these reminders April! When I work with my kids, it lifts a huge burden from me because I often try to do it all myself. After listening to your podcast today we turned on some music and worked on cleaned the kitchen together.
I LOVE this! I have kids ages 7, 5, 3, and a newborn. They have done simple chores but I have always known I want to teach them more and give them good orderly habits while they are young. I didn’t know how to do that until listening to this podcast. Usually I just bark orders at my children and we all end up unhappy and I wonder why this particular task isn’t getting easier. Since listening to this I have involved all my children, except the newborn, in my daily list of housework. They don’t help me the whole time because otherwise they wouldn’t have time to play, but for 30 to 45mins they help me. I still have some learning to do, I catch myself ordering around again or getting frustrated, but it’s coming along. I feel less overwhelmed and more content. Thanks for your help in this life of motherhood!
This made my day! So happy you are here, Kate!
This reminded me that we all are not perfect, even the experts. Thank you for this podcast. I can start again.